What Matters Most
by PotatoCatMani
Summary: His father was a cheating bastard, his mother died in a car crash; yeah, Rivailo has been through a lot. Add in a troublesome freindship-hoping-to-be-more with BFF Axel and we have our story. Better summary inside. Axel/OC. AU-ish. Rating may change.
1. Speedos and Family

Hmmm…Hai dere! So yeah. Um, this isn't exactly my first fanfic, but it is my first on . So yeah! Lemme break it down! *beat boxing out of nowhere*

_**Warning:**_ This fanfic is a **shounen-ai** meaning **boy on boy!** Yes, this means that there **are gay couples and situations** in this story! If this isn't to your liking, please get the hell out of here! If you do like it, then please fasten your seatbelts and keep your hands on the keyboard (unless you have a…ahem, _problem_ to fix). Should something arise, there are emergency nosebleed towels somewhere in your house! Thank you! =^.^=

_**Summary:**_ This fanfic is about Rivailo, an eighteen-year-old boy whose just going through the same old crap every other gay teenager is going through in high school, but, of course, with the added twist and difficulty of finding himself a decent boyfriend. Enter best friend Axel, whom is the obvious object of desire for little Rivailo. And, ya know, almost every other gay guy and female out there. But hey, every high school drama just isn't about relationships! Rivailo has a lot more to deal with: dealing with the scars left from the demons of his past, learning how to break down his over-fortified walls built up over the years, and figuring out just what exactly he wants and needs from the people in his everyday life. Will life give him a break? Haha! You're funny if you thought, _Yeah, it will_. We all know it won't, especially not in high school.

_**Disclaimer;**_ It goes without saying that **the ****only**** things of this story that I own are the character Rivailo and the storyline**. **Kingdom Hearts, its characters, worlds, and everything else belong to Square Enix and Disney.**

Well, here it is! Read and review, if you please. =^.^= Enjoy!

It's hard to decide what was more awkward. Dreaming inappropriately about several people, these persons being my closest friends, or having said group of friends almost make my dream an unwanted reality and make me wish I had other friends; okay, in spite of seeing _much_ more than I wanted to see of each of them, I would never wish for others to fill their shoes. Just even thinking about that horrid thought slammed me with incredible guilt and shame.

Speaking of shame, wouldn't the average male, gay or not, have the decency to, oh, I don't know, _not _"coincidently" don Speedos for a trip to the beach and be pleasantly surprised that almost everyone else on our trip, all eight of us – only guys, by the way – was strutting around and wrestling in the surf very nearly in their birthday suits?

No, I decided as I desperately tried to tear my eyes away from such an alluring sight – failing miserably to do so – and concentrate on counting the grains of sand on my fingertip. I failed there, too.

In all honesty, I was completely uncomfortable being around this cluster of man at the beach. I sat down on one of the blankets someone brought, wrapping my arms around my knees, glancing at my trunks for a moment, and I couldn't help but wonder if I would ever be comfortable in my own skin. On top of my low self-esteem, the ongoing war that inevitably follows anyone who has come to terms with his or her sexuality is a war in which I have rarely won a battle.

"C'mon, Vai!" someone shouted from the water. I looked up and saw the youngest member of our group (he'll be eighteen in August), Sora – one of the others not in a Speedo – waving at me with the infectious grin of his stretching across his face. "You can't just sit there forever on your–"

Before his sentenced was finished, a streak of snow, Riku, plowed into him, grabbing him by the waist, and brought him down into the water, cascading droplets of watery sand everywhere, splatting anyone near them. Everyone laughed at the sight (even Saïx and Xemnas, and they never laugh at anything), myself included, as Sora was inevitably pinned by his best friend, taller and far stronger than his fragile frame. Even now in our senior year of high school, Sora and I are the shortest of our colorful crowd (well, Zexion already graduated, but he's still shorter than me, also the final boy to not wear such "provocative clothing"); I stand at about five-eight, maybe five-nine, still taller than Sora by at least two solid inches, not counting his height if including his bizarre, naturally spiked, gravity-defying earthy-brown hair.

Watching them all grinning and laughing and splashing around (minus Xemnas and Saïx, who are just kind of standing there, talking to one another, looking indifferent yet incredibly attractive as their hips are jutted forward, emphasizing what's just beneath their tiny swimwear), enjoying the first day of spring break, I felt…distanced from these, my friends and family.

Riku, for one, is both friend _and_ family. Looking at him now, his sleek and straight, moonlight-silver hair now sticking to his cheeks, sides of his neck, and back, brought up the image of our dad.

Yeah, that's right. _Our_ dad.

Evidently, Setzer Laine passed on much of his physical traits to Riku Wheeler, who took on his mother's maiden name, never having the opportunity to marry Mr. Laine. Shining silver hair, pale silky skin, lean solid body, and a face so exquisite that it takes your breath away – at least it did with me upon first meeting my half-brother.

There is a key difference between good ol' dad and Riku, however; Riku would never use his unusual beauty to gain fame, as Setzer strived to do. Not only was he a vain person, he was heartless, as well, an incubus who feeds on unsuspecting women, draining them of heart and mind – he drained purses, too. And that's exactly what he did to Riku's mom. He speculates that that's the reason why – his physical resemblance to his father – his mother abandoned him when he was fifteen.

Riku came home from school one day, only to find what appeared to be the aftermath of a hurricane in the living room and the rest of the house. He ran room to room, looking for her or possibly a thief waiting with a knife at her throat or some heinous situation that inevitably resulted in his and her death while the crook left the scene of the crime with their life's savings and valuables worth pawning… Instead, he found himself without a mother or a place to call home. At some point, he noticed that he was sitting at the kitchen table, looking around the kitchen void of life when he had managed to stifle his sniffles and dry his tears, and spotted something he hadn't noticed.

On the fridge was a piece of paper pinned by a magnet with what appeared to be tear stains partially marring what was written on it, as well as a photo of his mom and his "father."

"You took my husband away from me," the note had read; Setzer had deluded Riku's mother into thinking they would marry when they had first met all those years ago, though never proposed. "You little bastard, I'd rather _die_ than be your mother for another fifteen years!" Two days later, the police found her body lying at the bottom of a dumpster in an alley of a city I've never heard of, her hand curled around a pistol, a bullet lodged in her right temple, drenched in her very blood. Nearly three years later, Riku is still haunted by the photographs shown by the detectives as Riku sat opposite a one-way mirror in the interrogation room, the sound of his echoing sobs as he was pounded with questions that tore at his heart, those wretched pictures branded into his mind.

"It's still hard," Riku had told me after revealing all this to me while he was in a dark set of mind. "Knowing that being born ultimately led to my mother's death." He smiled humorlessly at me, his face devoid of the beauty I have come to know, replaced by an agony that seemed impossible for an eighteen-year-old boy to burden; I remained silent, not knowing what to say. "The day her body was discovered was the day I turned sixteen.

"If it wasn't for Sora being there for me," Riku continued, his smile turned genuine, his aqua eyes shining like crystals in the sunlight. "I probably wouldn't be here. Probably would've killed myself, too." The way he spoke of his boyfriend of three-and-a-half years was filled immense adoration and devotion that I always felt the urge to flinch away from such potent and concentrated love, not wanting to intrude on it. Either way, we are all deeply indebted to Sora from saving Riku from following his mother's example.

Even now, sitting by myself, watching Riku and Sora interact with one another as a third-party observer, I could see that theirs would be an everlasting relationship, without a doubt.

Which brings us back to my side of the story, the other side – one of many – of Setzer Laine.

A playboy through and through, Setzer courted my mom as he probably had with many young women before her, Riku's mom included. After first meeting, he sent flowers, endless flowers of all kinds and colors in extravagant looking vases that were knock-offs he found who knows where. Alongside these gorgeous bouquets were poems that spoke of his undying love for her, that she was the missing piece of the puzzle, and all the bullshit that belongs in crappy romance novels.

Well anyways, he was confident that mom would fall head over heels for him, and when she did, he wanted to "take things to the next level," whatever that meant. The next year until mom suspected she was pregnant was filled with dinners at five-star restaurants, romantic yet original date locales, and someone who "loved" mom as no one else had before; she was twenty at the time, and only dated other men because they ended up not connecting with her on any level by the time their date had ended, so Setzer was like an obedient servant and love-toy who catered to her every need, and would even cause Cleopatra to be envious. But, of course, like with any other weak man out there, the second talk of two becoming three arose, Setzer cowered out of her life like a scared jackal with its tail between its legs.

Mom was obliterated.

How she pulled through the next nine months until my birth, I will never know. And, the only reason that I _do _know about all of this is thanks to my uncle, who I was placed in his care after turning three. Uncle Braig, who prefers me, and all others, to call him Xigbar, took me in without question. He and his sister were extremely close, and, for some unknown reason Xigbar could think of, mom had the suspicious feeling that her time in this world would soon end. And, unfortunately, her premonition was correct.

The tearful night that I was all settled in my strange new home with scary-looking Xigbar and his seven-year-old son, mom decided to go for a drive to the mountains to clear her mind, get her life back on track after losing so much to Setzer, and to fine-tune her plan to support me further. She often took me on these drives during the day to allow me to see more than the walls of our home. She would take me to the park for a majority of these little trips, where lazy clouds lolled about the endlessly blue sky, with pleasant breezes that swayed the trees and grass. Other times, mom would drive us to a private segment of a beach that the public didn't know of, where the waves were always soothingly calm, melodiously rising and ebbing on the shore, allowing me to sit and splash in the water and not worry my mom of waves possibly overtaking me. After a few times there, I didn't want to go anywhere else, throwing a fit if I so mush as saw greenery instead of white sand.

That night, however, wasn't the best for a drive to the cliffs. It had been raining for a few days and had just let up that morning – only slightly. The roads up on the cliffs were still slick, and the winds can be pretty fierce at night. Those two conditions made it difficult for any driver, no matter how slow or careful as they wove through those craggy curves. Mom didn't see the gasoline tanker pull around the bend until it was too late…

In a twisted sense of fate, Riku and I, not only tied together by Setzer Laine's blood, were also tied together by something ordained. It is more than just coincidence that I moved into the neighborhood of Sunset Hill in which Riku now resides with a college friend of Sora's, more than just coincidence that Riku had sensed something about me before we even spoke a word to each other, more than just coincidence that, above all else, found something eerily familiar to him in my eyes though we had never met.

Purposefully bumping into me as I headed for the library one fine winter day last year when we were both sixteen, the first thing out of Riku's mouth was, "Do you know who your father is?"

Perplexed that this stranger would randomly ask about my family, I felt compelled to reply. When I did, Riku reached into his back pocket for his wallet, and pulled out an aged wallet-sized picture of an attractive man and a beautiful young woman. The man, however, caught my attention first. I took the picture into my hands without asking, pulling it close to my face so I could scrutinize the man in the photo, and this boy before me.

Both had silver hair, pale complexion, and an abnormal beauty for a male. I knew the man was Riku's father in an instant. Observing this man's face, his sardonic smirk, the beckoning gleam of his eyes, I was shocked at what I discovered.

My eyes, a very rare and odd color, violet, stared back at me from that little picture.

From that point on, Riku and I became very close as I yearned to learn more about this mysterious man, as well as my new brother. Xigbar, too, assisted in filling me in on the kind of man Setzer was, my biological father. But that's all he ever was to Riku and I – just DNA binding us to his name, nothing more, nothing less. For me, Xigbar was my father for all intents and purposes, and that's what I addressed him as. He didn't mind, nor did my cousin Demyx; he always wanted a little brother, and I an older brother. I got a two-for-one deal, so to speak, as I often joked with Demyx and Riku.

Simply thinking about our predestined histories brought a smile to my face as I recognized that mom would want me to be happy, no matter where I was or whom I was with. I brought my knees closer to my chest, still smiling as Riku strolled over to me, grinning. I tried to ignore the fact that he, too, joined Club Speedo as he plopped down next to me, shaking his head, spotting my white T-shirt a little. He put an arm around my shoulder, jostling me playfully.

"Come on, Rivailo," he chuckled. "Why're you here all by yourself? Even Xigbar and Demyx are at out there!" Both in Speedos, I added mentally. And even though Xigbar is forty-six and has a cigarette wherever he goes, he is in such good shape for a man his age. Then again, I guess being a cop requires you to be in top form; some of the force that I've seen, however, obviously didn't get that particular memo. Even I, or probably anyone else here, for that matter, couldn't deny his rugged appearance to be attractive.

Standing tall at roughly six-foot-five, with long black hair in a constant ponytail streaked with a few solid stripes of gray running from his hairline to the tip of his pony, canary golden eyes (though his right eye is covered by an eye patch), scarred from various casualties on the job, Xigbar McIntyre would be dubbed as a bad boy all around, seeing as he can pass of as twenty-five or so with his body, scarred in oddly attractive places (the things you unwillingly notice when your uncle wears practically nothing…), looking even younger as he expertly slices through the waves on his surfboard.

I shrugged under Riku's arm; feeling the water from his arm and side soak through my shirt, cling to my skin.

"Not ready to go swimming just yet," I said with a forced smile. "Besides, we got here ten minutes ago. It's not like we're gonna leave anytime soon." I said this looking at his profile, for he was watching Sora being chased by Demyx who was holding a slippery cluster of seaweed, both laughing and screaming like little kids, earning odd stares from onlookers. I was glad that the beach was rather scarce of other spring break beach bums like us, especially _because_ its spring break. We just got incredibly lucky.

Riku met my eyes, concern coloring his tone. "You okay, Vai? Something the matter?" I looked away, tucking some wavy black hair behind an ear; he could read me all too easily sometimes.

I sighed. "I'm just… The last time I ever came to a beach was…before…" I held two fists in the air, hitting them together, illustrating an explosion. Riku understood immediately.

He nodded once, pulling me closer to him in an effort to comfort me; we had this talk one too many times.

"Want to be alone for awhile more?"

I looked up at him, examining his face. I smiled. "You're so good to Sora, Riku. You're a good brother, too." His eyes widened a bit, surprised at my words. Without hesitation, I brought both arms around him, not caring that he was still dripping wet. "Thank you," I whispered into his chest before pulling away a bit in order to kiss his cheek. Smiling down at me now, he returned the hug.

"Anytime, kid. Anytime. Oh, by the way. Happy Birthday, Mr. Lockhart."

"Thanks, _Mrs_. Wheeler," I teased, pulling away. "Now go. Go have fun. I'll be there in a little bit. Promise." He looked me over for a few seconds before nodding, kissing the top of my head, and darted off back to the water, diving head first into the waves.

I sighed heavily, wishing that someone else could've made it, too. Resting my chin on my knees, I wondered why he couldn't make it… normally, wherever Demyx went, he went, too. So then why couldn't he have joined us?

Very much tempted to up and ask Demyx, but he seemed a bit occupied as both Riku and Sora had tripped him, allowing him to fall onto his stomach, and quickly made a couch of my cousin, sitting casually on his back while he flailed about, trying to throw the both of them off; for being twenty-two, he wasn't the most strongest man in the world. Given his maturity – or lack thereof – he's still more of a boy, really. Inside, that is. "I'm just a big kid at heart," he constantly tells us with a very innocent and believable grin. There is no lie in his words, and his view of the world is very bemusing. It gives Demyx an adorable charm.

Like his father, Demyx prefers to be called as such, as opposed to his name of Myde. And when you set them next to each other, you would probably not assume that they were father and son, for they are just so physically different from each other. His sandy-blonde hair, which must've been given from his mother, was cropped in a mullet-Mohawk fusion, whom obviously also passed down her turquoise eyes to cousin Demyx. Compared to Xigbar's perpetual tan (which is disturbingly even), Demyx is as pallid as a newborn.

Thinking of Demyx's lazy, carefree personality did nothing to sweeten my sour mood. In fact, I think my mood soured further.

No, not soured. That's not accurate. I couldn't exactly describe my current mood, but vulnerable is the next best thing to summarize it. This vulnerability is the reason why I wore a T-shirt to the beach, why I'm rather scared of today, my eighteenth birthday, and why I'm forcing a smile when all I want to do is be under the care of Xigbar's badge and in the–

"Heh. Who said you could start this shindig without me," a confident voice spoke behind me. "My finally legal birthday boy?"


	2. Reality Check

_**Last time in What Matters Most…**_

_Thinking of Demyx's lazy, carefree personality did nothing to sweeten my sour mood. In fact, I think my mood soured further._

_No, not soured. That's not accurate. I couldn't exactly describe my current mood, but vulnerable is the next best thing to summarize it. This vulnerability is the reason why I wore a T-shirt to the beach, why I'm rather scared of today, my eighteenth birthday, and why I'm forcing a smile when all I want to do is be under the care of Xigbar's badge and in the–_

"_Heh. Who said you could start this shindig without me," a confident voice spoke behind me. "My finally legal birthday boy?"_

**X ~ X ~ X ~ X ~ X ~ X ~ X ~ X**

I gasped, turned my body at once, released my knees, and stared up in surprise at the taller figure before me. He was grinning with delight reflected in the striking emerald pools that were his eyes, framed with a fringe of incredibly long lashes that cast shadows across the planes of his high cheekbones whenever he glanced down under any light source, drawing attention to the purple tears under each eye.

Without a second thought, I jumped to my feet and threw my arms around his waist, burying my face in his chest, smiling ear to ear. "Axel!" I exclaimed, surprised and ecstatic that my hero had brought me out of funk simply by showing up on such a horrific day for me. "You made it!"

And that's exactly what I needed – just a glimpse of that mane of crimson spikes jetting up and back from his hairline, just a glimpse of that canine's grin that speaks of mischief waiting to happen.

Axel chuckled, wrapping an arm around my back, mussing my hair with his free hand. "You doubted my arrival? I, for one, am appalled that you lack faith in me, Rivy."

I giggled at the sound of that. _Rivy. _He was the only one to call me by that nickname, and it still sent an odd and irrational thrill through me even a year after since he started addressing me as such; it made me feel sort of special in a strange sense.

Pulling away from him, I was still smiling, as giddy as a little boy. It was then that I acknowledged just exactly what he was wearing, and I flushed, naturally.

Board shorts as bright as his hair with black flames emblazoned at the sides went well with the snug black tank top that clung to his sinuous form quite nicely. My fading blush brightened only a little, grateful that neither Demyx nor Riku (who is Axel's roommate as previously mentioned) had convinced him to wear a Speedo, too – I only suspected them because I overhead them "joking" about having a friend give me a little striptease for turning legal. They both knew that Axel would be down for the job.

No way in _hell _was I allowing _that_ to happen.

With that surefire plan to embarrass me shot right out of the sky, all I had to do now was attempt to wrap my mind around the fact that I legally had access to cigarettes, lottery tickets, and porn.

Woo. Hoo.

Looking at each person, Demyx, Sora, Riku, Axel, and even Xigbar, I knew that age was only a state of mind. "You're as young as ya feel," Xigbar would chuckle. "And I feel twenty years younger!" I agreed with that philosophy, and, glancing at Xemnas, Saïx, and Zexion, I knew the reverse was true – those three must be seventy granted how serious they are all the time. I'd wager that they abide by "business before pleasure," especially Zexion, seeing as he hardly ever breaks away from his college studies–

Abruptly my mind was derailed from its train of thought, for I was unexpectedly seeing the scenery from a higher perspective.

Deep in thought – more so than I realized – as I was, I had no idea of when Riku, Xigbar, and Xemnas had joined Axel and I, turning their shoulders into a makeshift throne for myself while my remaining friends had dashed off to the parking lot. Knowing that Xemnas and Xigbar's hands were at my sides, Axel and Riku's securing my legs, preventing me from falling off as I flailed about, I felt my face redden with an uncomfortable twist of fear and excitement and – primarily – embarrassment as they hauled me off to the water while loudly singing Happy Birthday, drawing the attention of almost everyone on our side of the beach.

Too preoccupied with where Demyx and the others had gone, I was unable to let out a signal word of protest as I was taken down from my human throne, whom were already waist deep in water, and casually thrown into the salty drink, a mere stone meant for skipping.

Or practically sinking when I wasn't ready to swim.

Thrashing around until I was gasping for air, blinking becoming a pain, breathing becoming uncomfortable as the salt began to rub my throat dry, I trembled in my shirt, a translucent second skin. Trying to sit up was a struggle. Each time I attempted to, a wave washed over me, stirring the sand below; I felt an unwanted grainy sensation at my back, and it started to creep down to my trunks.

Yeah, not pleasant. At. All.

Finally able to stand, breathe, and see, I felt more colonies of sand at the back of my neck, on my cheeks, and random clumps somewhere in my hair. I was seething at that point, trembling still, a wet puppy experiencing a bath for the first time. A puppy who preferred clean, refreshing rain as opposed to eye stinging, bitter tasting, sand-that-travels-_everywhere _beach, damn it!

Doing my best to wring the sand out of my hair without getting anymore on my face, I became aware of my supposed friends laughing raucously at me, one actually laying on the sand, grasping his sides, kicking sand everywhere. Demyx, of course, the idiot.

I felt as if all eyes were on me, drinking im my humiliation, feeding off it. Hard to tell from the shore, the tears began to blur my vision around the edges – or the salt from the waves; it was hard to tell. The urge to run and hide from discomfiture accompanied the fact that my friends had brought me to tears on my birthday – which I had already despised since the clock struck midnight – and I was already getting angrier as I just stood there, glaring at them while I was speckled with sand, my shirt clinging to my body, all but exposing it since its _white_ when the point of wearing a shirt to the beach at all is to veil the body! Not my smartest choice for a shirt to the beach.

I wanted to yell, I wanted to rant.

Not having much of a violent history, I startled myself when I had the strong desire to hit something, to kick and lash out. I remained fixed where I stood, the wet puppy sitting in the tub, staring up with big round eyes, wanting to be warm and dry again. It took me a few minutes, but I blinked my eyes dry when I heard one of my nicknames.

"Riva-Riva! Yoo-hoo!"

I looked past the hyenas to the parking lot, and managed a smile at the small group of people coming this way, repressing my minor irritation at the ridiculous name bestowed upon me by a good friend.

Leading this minor procession was a pale-blonde girl named Naminé. In her hands was what appeared to be a tray with a rectangular lid covering it. By her small smile and that glimmer in her marvelously blue eyes, what lay underneath that lid must be a cake that she and her bewildering large boyfriend, Lexaeus, helped her bake.

Naminé had a stubborn passion for drawing back in sophomore year, but sadly, her skill as an artist wasn't… Okay, it was downright sad, to put it mildly. It took us a great while to politely discourage her from pursuing art as a career choice, but we eventually prevailed. And, at the time, she was very unaware of the world of a confectioner. Until the stoic, gentle giant Lexaeus is let on that baking was a secret passion of his.

"So sweet was the way Lexaeus had asked for an evening of mine to spend with him underneath the full lit moon that I simply could not deny him a date with me," Naminé crooned to me one day, her dialect inspired by Shakespeare. Sort of. She always was an oddball amongst our group, but ever so genuine.

I was never given complete details of what was said and done during the actual date, but Lexaeus is very old-fashioned when it comes to treating women. Dressed sharply in black dress shoes, dark navy blue slacks, a white button down that held to his colossal frame just right with a thin navy blue tie, (I tried to envision such a shirt, and all I could see was the buttons flying off and breaking glass, Lexaeus is so broad!), and – to be a rebel, Naminé giggled with a blush – a leather jacket, he drove up to Naminé's house with a bouquet of carnations and daisies, spoke to her parents about going on a date with their daughter – impressing them greatly, as Naminé had squealed – and took her out to a four-star Italian restaurant for dinner, followed by a nighttime walk on this very beach where a blanket and picnic filled with dessert awaited them – prepared by none other than himself – directly underneath the halo of the full moon. They're second anniversary will be tomorrow.

Meeting her halfway up the beach, she looked me over once, and then glanced at our friends.

I nodded with a sigh.

"At least it's better than being egged." I said this while glancing at Zexion, who endured two-dozen eggs being hurled at him for his birthday a few years ago. Demyx received so much more than eggs, ranging from sardines to rotten oranges and everything in between. I'm fortunate enough to be smothered in sand.

"Yeah, well, Lexy-Lex and I whipped something that just might cheer you up," she smiled, glancing back at the quietest man I know. "Right, sweetie?"

Lexaeus stared down into her eyes for a moment, conversing something through his pale eyes that she would understand before looking up (down, really, but Naminé was at least five centimeters shorter) at me. "Chocolate cake with a strawberry ice cream layer in between. We hope you like it." His gentle yet powerful baritone had a calming effect that indefinitely contradicted with his bulky frame.

My eyes lit up at chocolate cake.

Smiling so wide that my cheeks started to ache slightly, I wanted to throw my arms around them both, but given my current state, I settled for jumping up and down, squealing as I had when I was a child. Or like Demyx and Sora. Whichever.

"Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!" I chirped over and over, laughing along with Naminé, appreciative for such a reaction before my tasting of their tempting creation.

Swiftly handing the cake to Lexaeus, Naminé embraced me.

"I don't care if you're wet and sandy!" she exclaimed. "It's gonna happen anyways!"

Pulling away from her, my smile never have left my face, I _hmm_'d an approval of her cute yellow and pink bikini which complimented her skin tone beautifully, stealing a quick glance to the man beside her; from the way his eyes traveled her body, I could tell he approved, too. Wouldn't surprise me if it were he who chose it for her. What a gentlemanly devil he could be.

Looking past Lexaeus' too snug jeans and T-shirt (I forgot that he wasn't the biggest fan of swimming) to familiar voices, it seemed that this small gathering was about to become a full-blown barbecue.

Demyx, Sora, and Zexion were helping the new arrivals – Hayner, Pence, Olette, and Kairi, Sora and Riku's best friend – haul over a grill, three coolers, and gear such as beach chairs, foldable tables, and several large canopies meant to provide shelter for those who want to sit down and eat or lounge in shade.

I was confused, but inwardly pleased, as was my grumbling stomach.

Reading my expression, towing me to one of the tables was set up, Naminé said, "I hope you don't mind, Riva-Riva, but I figured that a birthday at the beach is nothing without burgers and dogs."

"No, you're right, Nami-Nami," I chuckled. "Though, I wonder why Xigbar didn't think of that first." I narrowed my eyes at him as he jogged in with his big surfboard, grinning that sharky grin of his at me.

"He's a guy, remember?"

"Oh yeah. We don't go for that planning crap."

She giggled an agreement, poking at my ribs. "Hence why women are the superior sex."

"Hey now," I retorted, poking right back. "I take offense to that. Not all guys are morons. _We_ aren't, anyways." I gestured to the males present, but then I had to backtrack. "Well…except for Demyx."

We laughed openly at that, throwing Demyx pity glances after he tripped over the mass of seaweed he chased Sora around with, making us laugh harder. Karma loves Demyx, I thought amusedly.

I sobered up instantly with a shiver when I felt someone's hand graze the back of my neck as they brought my hair back into a ponytail. I knew it was Axel without having to look; he was the only one I knew that had no respect for personal boundaries whatsoever. Somehow, that just gives Axel a certain pull, one of the many things that make up the kind of guy Axel is, and none of us plan on changing him, especially not me.

I tried to play off his usual act of ponytailing my hair without permission, to seem a tad irate of that fact that he thinks he has the liberty to invade my personal bubble without worrying of my reaction, that he wasn't doing anything wrong like the little boy with a major sweet tooth who isn't satisfied with just one cookie after dinner, sneaking into the kitchen when he was supposed to be sleeping, predictably getting caught by his mom – whose oh so wrapped tightly around his littlest finger – with his hand on the cupboard door that shelters the Oreos and actually _smiles_ at his mommy, not having thought through his plan or the consequences on the chance of getting caught.

Yep. That's Axel, all right.

Even now, his confident smirk equated to the little boy's innocent smile, believing he'd be let off the hook, full knowing that he shouldn't have snuck back downstairs for that last Oreo in the first place. And, like the mother wrapped around her son's pinkie, I'd forgive Axel.

I always have, now that I thought about it, no matter how minor the infraction.

I get agitated whenever Demyx takes my cell phone from me while I'm on call to text Saïx when he's grounded from his phone (which happened often before he bought his own phone), but I find something else to do when Axel claims my phone for his own without protest. I was rather sad when Xigbar took one of the half-dozen lemon squares Lexaeus made for me last week, but when Axel took the _very_ last one, I just cried dramatically for all of five seconds before looking to pistachio ice cream to shut me up. And when I finally had enough money to buy _The Fame Monster_, I was truly devastated and all but exploded when Sora was the one who listened to _my _CD first, "borrowing" it for a week straight even after uploading it to his iPod, but after finally giving it back to me, I wasn't particularly mad at Axel for keeping it the following week. In fact, I remember pleasantly asking him what his favorite song(s) were and why, going into a heated discussion of what the lyrics symbolized before confirming our speculations on the Internet.

Yet unlike little cookie boy, Axel smirking is never a good thing when his eyes are narrowed. That's the red flag signaling others that the cogs of his mind are turning, formulating. Never a good thing.

Before I could manage a syllable, I was being passed around by my new arrivals, being overzealously hugged by Olette and Kairi (with a small T-shirt and Daisy Dukes over their bikinis), hugged like a brother by Pence (opting for a tee and trunks combo like myself), and hugged a bit too tightly by a grinning Hayner, obviously pleased at my discomfort (he was the only one to wear a cheetah print Speedo; even more discomforting was that fact that he completely pulled it off).

"Finally legal, eh, Vai?" Hayner said, the grin not have leaving his face just yet.

I glowered at him. Why does everyone love pointing out _that_ particular aspect that accompanies the age of eighteen? I would've preferred jokes about going to porn shops than innuendos at my (inexistent) social life.

Olette, deciding that that topic was inappropriate as well, elbowed the as-of-now annoying blonde with the sweetest of smiles. I did my best to not show my satisfaction of Hayner's pain as he rubbed his ribcage, turning to the side slightly to mouth, "Ow" so we couldn't see, forgetting that we have eyes.

"One year older, one year wiser," she chimed, her apple-green eyes bright with excitement. "Happy eighteenth birthday, Rivailo!"

"Yeah, sorry for being late, Vai," Pence apologized, looking sheepish. "My car keys decided to run away just as we were all ready to leave."

"No worries, Pence," I said, waving it off. "Really! I'm just so glad you guys could make it!" My stomach growled then, expressing its thanks for bringing the food once more. We all laughed.

"Hungry, Rivailo?" Kairi giggled, gesturing as a game show hostess would to the smoking grill manned by Xemnas, spatula in his hand, Xigbar standing next to him with an arm around each other's waists, talking about some memory by the looks of their nostalgic smiles (what worried me was that they had nothing to protect their bare bodies except for the nanoscopic swimsuits).

"The true question, Kairi," I said, protruding my belly, patting it, earning laughs from the girls. "Is when I'm _not _hungry."

"Well, come on, then!" Hayner clamored hungrily, dashing off to the buffet of food (Hayner and the gang brought more than just burgers and dogs, evidently), followed by Olette and Pence walking hand in hand. They really did make an adorable couple, I thought, smiling after them.

Taking my hand, leading the way to the growing circle around Xigbar and Xemnas, Kairi said, "You're my gay boyfriend for the day, okay?"

I laughed, kissing her cheek.

"Okay. Whatever you say, ya fruitfly."

As the daylight faded and the moon ascended into the clear night sky, my wildly fun and embarrassing birthday barbecue/potluck transitioned nicely into a bonfire, one of only three others on the beach tonight. I was still grateful that the beach wasn't jam-packed with beautiful tanned bodies – oh wait, the beautiful bodies were sitting around the fire with me. Of course.

Everyone was calm now – satisfied with loudly crowing the birthday song for the umpteenth and final time – the energy from the day was being spent on swapping stories and jamming burger patties, weenies, and marshmallows on two-pronged skewers, cooking them in the fire, passing around family-sized bags of chips and two-liter soda bottles, some making no use for plates or cups anymore; the kind of eatin' teenagers (and youthful people at heart) are meant for! A whole day of fun in the sun can drain even the most bouncy of people, and Demyx and Sora were nodding off, needing Saïx and Riku's arms to prevent them from falling into the sand. Or fire.

For a while after my roasting was done and over with, something I should've seen from the beginning and something that each and _every_ person here decided to bring out my most klutziest and easily blush-inducing moments they could recall since they first met me, all was hushed conversations until Kairi asked me for the time. I checked my phone.

"9:31," I whispered to her. She huddled closer to me as a sudden breeze picked up, sending flares of sparks into the sky, a sight that earned a few _oooh's_ and _aaah_'s. "Why? Do you have to leave soon?"

I felt her nod against my shoulder.

"My mom told me to call before 9:40 so she could come and pick me up."

"Aw, okay," I sighed. "Wanna use my phone?"

"Pretty please?"

I handed it to her as she stood, walking off a ways to make her call, taking the warmth – and my jacket, which I was thankful for bringing after all but disappointed that I was now freezing – with her. I glanced around, and I couldn't recall when everyone else had changed into jeans and jackets or sweaters, which made me shudder without fail. Kairi, often like myself, didn't foresee the chilly air that the ocean can bring after the sunsets. Already sitting the farthest from the flames, I was about to scoot closer when someone replaced Kairi's spot and wrapped an arm around my waist, bringing me closer to them, cradling me into their side.

Prepared to fully right-hook whoever it was in the ribs (though I knew it would be a tap to the wrist coming from me), I relaxed in an instant when he chuckled; I could picture that infamously confident smirk while he rested his chin at the top of my head.

"'Bout time little Kairi left my rightful place," Axel said casually, obviously aiming to add some more color to my cheeks. I disliked it when he got his way, especially at my expense, in public even! Glances were being thrown my way, whispers now being quieted further. It would only be a matter of time before my friends would find an excuse to give me an unwanted berth of space (suddenly hungry, thirsty, too warm, bathroom breaks; the usual clichés) and when Xigbar would pay minute attention to me (all too aware of what being eighteen meant), ready to put the cop mask on and bust out his badge; not that there's much he could to stop me, but he is my guardian after all, and Axel loved to test Xigbar's boundaries when it came down to invading my space, daring him to lay down a restraining order.

It's incredibly hilarious, actually. Well, Demyx's reaction is.

When Demyx met Saïx, who were in their sophomore and freshmen years of high school and college respectively, Demyx was simply raving about the older boy, streaming a ceaseless babble of how attractive, how mysterious, how utterly de-lec-ta-ble this boy was. Two days after they got together, Zexion came over to assist Demyx with an analytical essay on _Fahrenheit 451_ in the living room, huddled over Demyx's note-free copy of the book; evidently, Demyx's English teacher demanded that each student's book should be muddled with notes in the margins and each page should have been highlighted, since they should've bought their own copies. Zexion muttered to me his view of Demyx and Saïx as a couple while the aforementioned took a break for food, already tired of Bradbury's complicated book.

"I compare it to the moon and the tide," he said, greatly annoyed while I was trying to make sense of seventh grade math. For five minutes straight, Demyx was talking about how pretty Saïx's hair is, how sweet Saïx is, how strong Saïx is, how hot Saïx is, how mysterious Saïx is, how dark Saïx is (referring to the odd X-shaped scar cross his nose), how unbelievably _his_ Saïx is when he was supposed to be giving his opinion on the kind of character Guy Montag is.

"Whatever first attracted Myde to Isa," Zexion continued, obviously irritated at the little progress he made with my cousin (Zexion preferred to address everyone by their birth-given names, and wished that everyone addressed him by his, Ienzo; I did, but the rest of our friends didn't). "It is an insatiable pull, one that has had the strongest hold on Myde thus far." I asked him what he meant by that, genuinely confused by his formal tone. "You needn't worry, Rivailo," he sighed, and left it at that.

Everyone else seemed so over my cousin's newest crush, that they didn't even bother with their usual bets of how long it would be until he found some new eye candy. Even Xigbar, for crying out loud! He, while Xemnas was worried of the age difference, joked about his son's newest squeeze right in front of him! Xemnas simply shook his head in disappointment at his boyfriend's lack of concern, subtly reminding him that their being together was technically illegal, and as a policeman, he should intervene for his son's sake if not for the sake of the law.

Demyx, too, was expecting to find mace stashed in his backpack, or to be escorted everywhere in his father's police car with Saïx in the backseat, behind the fiberglass window. I found it extremely odd that he was disappointed to only receive a lecture and that Saïx be reminded of where he stood with his son, and with he, a cop. Saïx, on the other hand, was very relieved behind the outwardly unemotional mask he wore 24/7 to be given no threats to a degree that would scare him to do nothing more than hold hands.

While they, a budding relationship, began to bloom into the official boyfriend phase, I was the one getting all the unfulfilled precautions from my uncle. When there was no relationship beginning to blossom!

I mean, _really_!

As much as I liked Axel – and even I couldn't hide the fact that I truly, _truly_ liked Axel for more than just his charismatic face – there was no chance in hell that he and I would be anything more than best friends. It was far too farfetched, an idea that was laughable! It went without saying that our two leagues were the same sides of two magnets; while we were a positive match to each other in the magnetic field as friends, trying to push those two positive polarities together was physically impossible, repelling each other.

It was torture, having his arm around me, sitting in front of a fire, underneath a marvelous night sky with the crescent moon smiling down at us – a ridiculously romantic setting, one that I'm starting to believe was planned all along – _and_ on the day when I needed his comfort most. Now that I have it, I found it to be so tragically depressing that I just wanted to run over and drown myself in the icy surf, hoping that a shark would dare to venture its gills in the open air in dire need of seal-shaped food. These thoughts and memories crossed my mind in seconds, his words echoing in my ears.

'_Bout time little Kairi left my rightful place._

He had no right to say those eight words, yet he did. And he had no idea how I've wished him to so anything along those lines, how long I've dreamed of such a situation and setting as this, how I soared beyond the stars after making sure that I didn't imagine them.

Already memorized in my heart, too late to prevent it, I decided that I should reel myself back down to reality before I let me mind believe that sentence to become a possible truth.

"What's that?" I snickered. "Oh yeah, one position below my Beta's _rightful place_." I tried to make his words sound mocking and hurtful. "You wouldn't just be my bitch, you'd be Kairi's bitch, too." Putting up my walls was how I dealt with Axel's insinuative behavior.

"Hmm. Suppose I wouldn't mind being someone's bitch, as long as I was yours." When he wanted to be alluringly playful, like now and pretty much all the time, Axel Sinclair was the only person I've come to know who could actually purr when he spoke.

And it was his little comments like that that broke off a little piece of me, sending the shard hurtling to the ground for it to shatter into a hundred other pieces, giving the impression of fireworks.

I squirmed uncomfortably, trying to pointlessly move away from his arm at my waist, aware that anyone who paid close attention could see that it wasn't the fire adding extra hue to my face.

"Oh, ha ha," I mumbled, looking up at the moon, focusing on it only. "Didn't realize that the Great Axel of Sin could be subservient, tending to his master's beck and call."

He laughed quietly. "'Great Axel of Sin'…? You did _not_ just give me a sex demon's name that has an acronym of GAS." Where he comes up with these things I will never know.

I glared at the moon, recognizing this little trick of his.

Axel knew all too well that I didn't take being laughed at very well, and would often use that to gain my attention whenever I decided to give him the cold shoulder when he laughed "next to me" during a moment I was in no way trying to be funny. Each time, I would turn to him after falling for whatever ploy he used, leering, pouting, or both, demanding with my eyes that he explain himself, only to be looking right into his sincere and spellbindingly apology face; that particular face was just him batting his emerald eyes while he smirked at me in his usual, non-cocky way.

But not this time.

To distract myself from his unfair advantage of playing on my guilt, I intended on counting the stars that surrounded the silvery smile in the sky, a task that would prove to be difficult without my glasses – I was all but blind without them.

It was the perfect distraction.

"Aw, don't be like that, Rivy." I could hear the smile in his voice, but I didn't give in, still focused on my task, squinting up at the blurry sky.

"Ri-vy," he sang, dissecting his nickname for me in two. I refused to respond, now too caught up in my star counting.

Axel fell silent, aware that my concentration was truly elsewhere.

"Well, that's fine, Rivy," he sighed. "I guess I won't swing by later to bring you your gifts. Such a shame too, because they took me _hours_ to finish, but hey. Whatever."

It _was_ the perfect distraction…

I snapped my head over at him, surprised and confused.

He met my gaze, smiled, and shook his head. "What? Did you _honestly_ think I would listen to you and not get something for your birthday? Oh, please." He rolled his eyes at me, expecting such a reaction.

"But I asked that no one get me anything at all for my birthday!" I whined. "Specifically _you_, Axel Sinclair!" Crossing my arms across my chest, I added to my little tantrum a proper _humph_ and pouted off to the side.

Even for me, ranked second in the categories of immaturity and naiveté – Demyx and Sora – this hissy fit was going over the top. In my childish tendencies, however, is an ability to effectively adjust a heavy atmosphere to a lighter one, instantly bringing smiles about. Under normal circumstances and on anyone else, these antics would've gotten the desired grins and much-needed change of subject.

Not the case with the sole redhead of our crew.

No, he accurately saw through my facades and pierced right through to the heart of everything about me. Almost everything, I quickly amended. Axel says he has a keen sight for these types of things, other times he says it's because he knows me all too well, maybe even more than I know myself. Curse those perceptive gems for eyes he has.

Looking down at my fidgeting hands in my lap, I became unsure.

These days, I was lucky enough to know my own thoughts and feelings. Every other night or so, I'm staring at my reflection, questioning who and what I am. My mind wanders far beyond its boundaries, and it is at that time that I turn on my iHome and occasionally cry myself to sleep.

He might be right.


	3. Surprise!

_**Last time in What Matters Most…**_

_No, he accurately saw through my facades and pierced right through to the heart of everything about me. Almost everything, I quickly amended. Axel says he has a keen sight for these types of things, other times he says it's because he knows me all too well, maybe even more than I know myself. Curse those perceptive gems for eyes he has._

_Looking down at my fidgeting hands in my lap, I became unsure._

_These days, I was lucky enough to know my own thoughts and feelings. Every other night or so, I'm staring at my reflection, questioning who and what I am. My mind wanders far beyond its boundaries, and it is at that time that I turn on my iHome and occasionally cry myself to sleep._

_He might be right._

**X ~ X ~ X ~ X ~ X ~ X ~ X ~ X**

Waking up the next afternoon, I couldn't help but hope that all of last night was a dream, one that occupied my subconscious long enough to string together my insecurities and wishes to present a very realistic possibility of what turning eighteen would be like, preferably two weeks from now…

Then I reached for the space next to my pillow to shut off my phone's alarm (just because it was spring break, doesn't mean I like sleeping past noon) and freaked out when I couldn't flip it open. A minute after observing the new, sliding, full-keyboard phone Xigbar presented me at the last possible minute before laying down, everything became refreshed into my memory. With a loud groan, I yanked the blanket over my head and curled up into a ball, trying to go back to sleep as my uncle's words broke into my foggy thoughts.

"I figured that you could use an upgrade, Vai," he chuckled as I marveled over the hardware in my hands, sliding the phone open and closed again and again, forgetting the sideways sliders were what nearly all of my friends had, that or a touch screen. "But before you get too excited, you're now dealing with a pre-paid phone, meaning that _you're _gonna have to scrounge up the money to–"

I didn't let him finish, flinging myself at him, overjoyed that after three long years of a flip phone – which were nearly an extinct species – dealt with battle scars provided by gravity and cement, I finally have a new technological toy! Sure, I had to get a part-time job to pay for unlimited calls, text, and Internet use, but I could live with that!

It was after immediately sending a text to all my contacts, a task that proved to be difficult and time-consuming for one who was accustomed to T9 for so long, stating my new digits that the birthday high came to an abrupt halt, which continued to dampen my mood nearly twelve hours later.

"You up yet, Vai?" Demyx called outside my door with a gentle knock.

Uh-oh. That's not good. I double-checked my phone and confirmed that it was 11:59.

Demyx was never an early bird on weekends or during vacations (or any other day, for that matter), and I was the one who would wake _his_ ass up if he weren't out and about by one in the afternoon. Xigbar used to wake his eldest son up during these school-free days, but quit after once having to go _Freaky Friday_ on him, pulling at his ankles while the lazy blonde held tight onto the headboard. Not wanting Xemnas to ruin my fun, I took it upon myself to be Demyx's personal alarm clock, jumping on his bed with a shout. Doing that always effectively woke my brotherly cousin, sending him to the floor in a screaming fright.

"Y-yeah, I am," I said groggily, sounding like someone who was prepared to duck and cover should a bomb be dropped outside his window. I never was one for hiding my case of nerves whenever they decided to strike a cord.

"Well, get dressed! You have plans today." With that, I heard him walk off down the hall, heading for the stairwell.

_What?_ I thought, dazed. _He's fully dressed? At _this_ hour?_ _And he said that I have plans today?_

Getting out of bed in a tangle of blanket, falling to the floor in a complicated effort to unwind the blanket from around my legs before getting to my feet and bursting out of my room, forgetting that I was still in my pajamas consisting of PE shorts from sophomore year and a much-too-large and outstretched tee that nearly fell past my shorts; Xigbar joked that I wore it because it was virtually a night gown for me at age five.

I scoured the house for the sandy-blonde, leaving no room unchecked. Downstairs, the living room was empty, as were the kitchen, bathroom, washroom, and the broom closet under the stairwell, a place where I liked to hide and be in my own imaginary world whenever I was in a foul mood (being in there got me to thinking why Xemnas decided to move us into such a spacious house – compared to the somewhat cramped but cozy one story, that is – last year when there was only four of us). I contemplated checking the garage, but Demyx's '87 Camero was parked out in front, and I would've heard him leaving through the front or the sliding doors leading to the backyard, as quiet as it was. Which left me to believe that Demyx feinted going downstairs in favor of a better hiding area in one of the rooms upstairs.

There were moments where I believed his gullibility to be an act to hide his true nature of an evil genius.

Darting up the stairs two at a time, I breezed through the computer room, guest bedroom, second bathroom, and Xigbar and Xemnas' room. Never again will I go into _that _room without knocking; little did I know that Xemnas, with his silk sheets wrapped around his waist and part of a leg, was one for sleeping au naturale. Seeing as he was already tossing and turning, I decided to leave before the sheets revealed to me what the Speedo hadn't.

With nearly every inch of the house searched, only two rooms remained. His and mine. Standing in the middle of the hallway, I discovered a flaw in my search.

Our rooms were at opposite ends of the hall.

To the right were the nudist's room and Demyx's, and reflecting theirs was the guest room and mine. No matter which of the two remaining rooms I picked, my sneaky cousin had the chance to possibly run out of a room I hadn't thoroughly checked and make a beeline for the stairs, or he could pop in out of nowhere and scare the hell out of me, forcing me to my room or his and get ready for whatever he had torture he had in mind.

But…he couldn't force me to do something unless he can't get a hold on me.

Walking quickly and quietly to my room, I began to feel like the helpless victim in a cheesy horror movie from the fifties, not knowing when or where a hand would reach out to me from the shadows, silencing me while the other hand is raised with a jagged, bloody dagger aiming for the jugular.

Shutting the door, twisting the privacy lock, my irrational paranoia worsened as I pressed an ear to the door, listening for whatever awaited outside now that I was locked away. When nothing but my breathing could be heard, I pushed away from the door, chuckling at myself at how silly I was acting.

"We meet again, little boy," a ghost of a voice whispered.

An odd cry came out from my lips as I threw myself back against the door, heart beating my ribcage. The laughter of the idiot I was searching for turned fear into an angry groan while I unlocked my door and pointed out to the hallway.

"Leave. Now! _Before_ I do something I'll regret," I growled through clenched teeth. "Like getting sent to prison for pre-meditated," I mumbled incoherently.

Chortling still, he waltzed over, kicked the door shut and kept it shut with a firm grip on the knob, placing his other hand flat on the door, trapping me.

"No, no, no," he said, a father gently scolding his child in a condescending approach, sounding exactly like Xigbar. "Don't you know what today is?"

"The day you decided to be as annoying can possibly be?" Heavy sarcasm.

He grinned down at me, shaking his head. "Try again."

I didn't like this game of guessing my demise, and I knew that I wouldn't like whatever he had in his black bag of dismay and destruction.

"Whatever you do, I want to be cremated," I whimpered.

"Aw, I'm not gonna kill you! Lighten up, kid," he ordered. "We don't have time for your theatrics, Vai."

"T-Time for what?" I asked warily, cowering against the door. Now I was very sure that I wouldn't like where this was headed, and I calculated the chances of me making a successful escape. I had to admit, they didn't look good.

Magic words waiting to be spoken, Demyx's face lit up in a grin that flashed his teeth, straightened thanks to five years of braces.

"I was counting on your curiosity, little cousin."

He stepped off to the side to reveal my bed, and I was frightened at what it was now covered with. Stripped of its coverings, my bed now belonged to his wallet. A variety of tees, shirts, button-ups, sweaters, jackets, jeans, belts, bracelets, and necklaces neatly piled on top of each other, laid out in the limited space yet organized displays of a trendy, local clothing store.

_Fashion_, I thought cynically. _My adversary since freshman year. _

I have been in many a heated argument with Marluxia, the pink-haired pretty boy and the ultimate diva/fashionista, in regards to my lack of style. He's only twenty-four and he already owns Airport XI, the local and trendy store previously mentioned. With a little of Daddy's money, of course. As far as I know, Marluxia was sent to the most prestigious boarding schools since kinder, and, like any other rich boy, didn't take college seriously as he pursued what he wanted to do, preferring to send himself to the Oblivion University, due to it being close to home as well as having on of the best fashion designing programs; it previously was known as Castle Oblivion, but not else was known about it after it was renovated into a university, having many add-ons that comprised of the dorms which was a feat to try and retain the architecture of the castle. Marluxia never had to work an honest day in his life, and that holds true now; he hired the best he could find to run _his_ store while he checks in a few times a week to check how sales are going.

Sporting the best money can buy whether it be ridiculously overpriced designer shades or the latest and greatest in cell phones, Marluxia had an air of I-can-get-whatever-I-want that I completely despised. I never thought such a pretty face could be so ugly, but it seems that I stand corrected. It's just too bad that the one apple spoiled all the way to the core is in our bushel.

The clothes on my bed were shackles to a mirror, the reason why I didn't give a damn about taking the time to make sure an outfit flows together. I would always tell Marluxia that I shouldn't have to change my outer appearance for anyone. If I did and caught the attention of x-amount of guys, it only proves how shallow they are. What was so wrong with how I looked before I dared to step into skinny jeans, a flannel shirt, and side-swept my straightened bangs? Why did they notice me after I changed my look? Would they look at me differently if I wore my usual baggy T-shirt and regular jeans the next time we saw each other?

I shut my eyes and began shaking my head.

"What?" Demyx asked, confused.

"No," I said, an edge in my voice. I opened my eyes, glaring right up at Demyx. "No. _Hell_ no! I'm not about to let you make me play dress-up!" His bewildered expression showed that he wanted to say something, but I didn't give him the chance. "I don't wanna hear it, Demyx. No. I won't! Now, _please_ clear my bed of little Missy Rich's clothes so I can try and go back to bed!"

"Rivailo," a firm yet gentle voice said a ways behind me. I turned around to see Xemnas leaning on the doorjamb, clothed in a satin robe with the belt secured, looking straight at me with a disheartened expression framing his exotic face. "Is that in any way an appropriate manner to speak to your cousin and to speak of Marluxia, a friend to you both?"

Out of respect for Xigbar – and because Xemnas was the first boyfriend or girlfriend whom both Demyx and I approved of and liked – I held my tongue and bowed my head, peering up at the man who intimidated me as the authority figure whenever Xigbar wasn't present. I remembered the night after first being introduced to the silver-haired man that I dreamt of him as a dark leopard. At the time, I couldn't quite reason why I dreamed him a leopard, but after observing his lithe movements and vigilant posture did I see the resemblance from the sinewy Xemnas to the agile forest cat, especially his amber eyes that appeared to be on a constant watch, waiting for something.

"No, I suppose not," I mumbled, feeling foolish. Knowing I wouldn't divulge a reason for my rash behavior, Xemnas looked to Demyx rigidly.

Easily swayed by anyone of power, Demyx stammered out the issue at hand, fidgeting around from one foot to the other, glancing around my room in his effort to dilute the unease elsewhere. Like myself, Demyx isn't the greatest with keeping a straight face when stress comes knocking.

Xemnas stared at us both, appraising the predicament in silence for a tolerable outcome.

"What I don't understand," Xemnas began, unsure. "Is the purpose for this little make-over you have planned for Rivailo, Demyx. Would you care to explain yourself?" Not having considered that angle myself, I turned to my cousin, a little smug in expectance of his reply. I was grinning as his eyes darted between my icy set and the puncturing set in the doorway.

"W-Well, a few of us were thinking things over," Demyx said, trying to solidify his voice. "And we decided to set Vai up on a blind date."

My jaw dropped.

Hard to tell if he was unsettled, Xemnas asked, "Without his consent? Correct me if I'm wrong, but a blind date should be agreed to by both parties, yes?" No matter what he said, upset or content, Xemnas' articulate dialect captivated me through and through.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" I interjected, boiling up inside. "Who is this 'we'?"

"Er…Naminé, Hayner, Sora and Riku…?" I could've sworn he was about to say another name but he bit his lip and his eyes roamed about. It sounded like a question, but I knew that Demyx was readying himself for me to explode; he knew well of my temper. Being feared is a good thing after all.

Oh, this just got better and better.

"Okay," I said with a forced chuckle, my smile one of murderous intent as I stalked over to the trembling man with deliberately slow steps. "You plan a Speedo party, attempted to get my best friend to sit on my lap with sleazy music playing, _and _want me to go on a blind date? Am I to believe that _you_ are the brains behind these devious agendas?" All but forcing him to lay back on my bad, balancing on the balls of my feet to be almost in his face, I saw the Adam's apple bob as Demyx's breathing began to pick up and I knew that fear really was coursing through his veins; I made a mental note to ask Saïx how he makes Demyx shrink into his shell.

"Now, now, Rivailo. No need to be impulsive." I nearly forgot Xemnas was even here. "Perhaps a blind date could do you some good."

He did _not_ just go there…

I spun around so fast that some of my hair whipped Demyx's chest, an unbelieving expression taking hold of my features. "_What?_ You're _siding_ with him? Xemnas!"

Chuckling to himself, he padded over to me, gently placing a hand on my head to muss my hair. I looked up at him, brows furrowed and flustered.

"Haven't I told you that a blind date is how I met your uncle?" he asked softly, smiling still.

Demyx spoke with fear void from his voice in his curiosity. "Really? Dad never told me that!"

Xemnas chuckled again, nodding. "Yes. If it hadn't been for my dear friend Luxord forcing me into his car to meet my date, I would have never had the opportunity to have loved two of the most rambunctious boys I have ever had the pleasure to have met." He mussed my hair once more before kissing the top of my head and walked over to Demyx to hug him.

I followed him with my eyes, and then I didn't like what I saw as Xemnas wrapped an arm around Demyx's shoulder, giving me a pleasant smile that could not be swayed.

Frowning, I reluctantly asked, "You're gonna make me go on the date, aren't you, Xemnas…?"

Another nod and smile from the silvery-haired man.

"Perhaps this young man could be your Xigbar. Need I remind you that he and I have been together for nearly ten years?" At my blank look, Xemnas laughed. "Rivailo, all I am trying to say is what could be the harm of one date?" _My self-esteem,_ I though bitterly.

"How old are you, Xemnas?" I hoped he could pick up on the venom im my words.

"Thirty-three. However, my age is irrelevant to you going on a date with one of Demyx's acquaintances."

Damn! What kind of world is this where an uncle's boyfriend forces said uncle's nephew/son to go out with some random dude? While wearing clothes he'd rather burn then step foot in! I don't fucking think so! Well, looks like I'm just going to have to be the stubborn jackass who won't pull the cart any further.

Taking one step ahead of my retaliation, Xemnas said, "Before you reject the idea once more, may I ask you something?" When I didn't give him any lip or look – aside from anxiety – he continued. "Have you ever been on an official date? If so, what is the name of this boy?"

My obstinate ego deflated right there and with it went my tongue; I had no defense or alibi for that one.

"Hmm. Just as I expected," said Xemnas, frowning at his correct assumption.

Demyx, on the other hand, found his tongue. I was so content without his input, but not every silver lining pierces through the clouds. "Vai? You haven't gone on a date yet?"

From his expression, Demyx was unable to decipher why my reddening face was out of either anger or humility, and he wanted no part of either, settling to shut up once more before I hurt him in spite of Xemnas' presence.

"Well, if you must know," I growled through my teeth. "No, I haven't been on a date yet…"

"Heh, well now's your chance," a hearty voice boomed from the hall; I jumped a little at Xigbar's shout, too accustomed to the hushed tone of Xemnas and the skittish tenor of Demyx.

Without looking at the door, I bowed my head in defeat and readied for another round of pointless argument on their part. Hearing his footsteps enter the room, I mentally prepared a speech full of falsified rationalizations of just why I would not put up with a blind date but the first words out of my soon-to-be disowned father completely halted it.

"So, are you glad that I hooked you up with some mystery hunk, Vai?" Xigbar said with his trademark shark-of-a-grin. Expecting my ferocity to be directed to our father, Demyx was struck yet again by my unforgiving gaze.

"Now, now, kiddo!" Xigbar interceded with a chuckle, bringing an arm across my chest, restricting me to his side. "You have a club get ready for! And, lucky for you, the theme tonight is a modern masquerade ball!" My nightmare never had an end, did it? "We have six hours to coordinate an outfit with your mask, figure out what to do with your messy mop of a crow's nest, and figure out other assorted issues, so let's get crackin'!" My head was grasped for a brief moment as something was strapped to my head, obscuring my vision for a moment; it was a mask, and by the ruby specks layering my fingertips, it was glittered…

I heard the door lock behind me, felt the hair on my arms stand, and the adrenaline slowly seep into my system while I was steered to the mirrored doors of my closet. Though the fluttery wings of a butterfly fascinated me, even I had to draw the line at the purple insect speckled with red glitter that now adorned the majority of my face, save for my forehead, mouth, and just the tip of my nose. I had no care for what others thought about my appearance, but I did have a fear of possibly getting the shit beaten out of me for being frilly at a club with a g–

"W-Wait!" I cried, throwing my hands up in defense, the horror even visible in my masked reflection as I met the three pairs of eyes staring at me. "Am I going to a _club_? In six _hours_! As in _tonight_?"

"Consider it a post-birthday present from me, alright?" Xigbar chuckled, squeezing my shoulders reassuringly – translated to keeping me from making a run from the fuzz, which is actually true! – while Xemnas and Demyx held various articles of clothing and an unnecessary amount accessories against my body, either shaking their heads or murmuring noises of approval before heading back to the for another Airport XI ensemble. I snarled at the little rose with thorny, almost gothic Roman numeral in its blossom that marked every garment that was forced to contact my person. It was after nearly three hours of being a mannequin (and yes, they eventually undressed me against my will to see how every single one of the approved outfits looked on me) that something incredibly terrifying and equally pathetic flickered one of the dusted and unlit light bulbs in my mind.

This masquerade ball at an unknown club marked the first dance I would attend. Ever.


	4. Wolf in the Night

_**Last time in What Matters Most…**_

"_W-Wait!" I cried, throwing my hands up in defense, the horror even visible in my masked reflection as I met the three pairs of eyes staring at me. "Am I going to a club? In six hours! As in tonight?"_

"_Consider it a post-birthday present from me, alright?" Xigbar chuckled, squeezing my shoulders reassuringly – translated to keeping me from making a run from the fuzz, which is actually true! – while Xemnas and Demyx held various articles of clothing and an unnecessary amount accessories against my body, either shaking their heads or murmuring noises of approval before heading back to the for another Airport XI ensemble. I snarled at the little rose with thorny, almost gothic Roman numeral in its blossom that marked every garment that was forced to contact my person. It was after nearly three hours of being a mannequin (and yes, they eventually undressed me against my will to see how every single one of the approved outfits looked on me) that something incredibly terrifying and equally pathetic flickered one of the dusted and unlit light bulbs in my mind._

_This masquerade ball at an unknown club marked the first dance I would attend. Ever._

**X ~ X ~ X ~ X ~ X ~ X ~ X ~ X**

_Oh, I'll kill them_, I thought maliciously. _I'll _slaughter_ them! Tear 'em to shreds, burn the pieces, feed their charred limbs to savage dogs, drive the blackened torsos with heads still attached to the desert and let the buzzards finish the job!_

I found my eyes in the reflection of the bathroom mirror, face momentarily free of the unreasonable butterfly mask (though I really did like it) now lying next to the sink, and my psychological plan for the sadistic deaths of my uncle, cousin, and foremost's life partner drained from their violet depths. I considered washing my face to rid my tension – and to also spite my family, a term I began to use loosely – but I was threatened that if a single straightened strand of hair (which took nearly an hour, seeing as how wavy and thick my hair is) wet, I would wake up with a baldhead. I'd rather die first than have my split-ended-but-still-pretty black locks shaved off, so I wasn't about to risk wetting my hair.

Meticulously and uncharacteristically sprucing my sideswept bangs into proper place across my forehead (not knowing that I was smearing that damned glitter onto my fingertips Demyx sprayed onto on my hair before escorting me in a sneak attack), I had no desire tat all to step out of the bathroom and squeeze my way back to my designated waiting area for my "mystery hunk," a semi-circle booth near the back wall in the VIP section of the accursed club my guardian (Xigbar has been disowned as my father and uncle) had promised. Organization is one of the few clubs that catered to the eighteen to twenty-one crowds as well as the only one to uphold a theme every Saturday night. This meant that unless you wore clothing that fell under the theme of the night, you weren't getting in.

The inside of Organization itself was…odd.

When I thought of a club, I imagined a rave, dark setting and furniture with neon everywhere. I was partially right, only the VIP area was black, or a very, very dark blue that easily passed off for black. The edges of the booths and tables were painted with either yellow or a blue-white neon paint or were fluorescent lights; either way, the booths glowed and showed if one was occupied or not. Or, like the one I was in, which was clearly cut off by velvet rope with neon to match the entire area. There were stars along the rope, and what would be the sphere that held the rope links were actually bright, bluish-white star-shaped light bulbs, kind of like an actual star of the hottest temperature.

Speaking of stars, there were plenty of other yellow and bluish-white celestial bodies adoring the dark of the VIP. The rest of the club, however, was purely white. Like a very, very pale purple kind of white. I don't know, but it was very bright and it just reminded me of the kind of pale white you'd see in the maternity ward of a hospital for some reason. Or it seemed that way until the square-paneled walls and floor started to alternate into different colors before going out completely so that the blue-white or yellow neon that bordered everything was visible – then the laser-light show started all over again.

But more intriguing then the stars and contrasting colors and the Gothic, white thorns that sprouted from almost random places and furnishings were the giant, incandescent Roman numerals scattered all over the place each a different color, some popping out like the signs that labeled the club outside or built into something; numerals one through thirteen; on the walls, on a floor panel, on doors, on tables – everywhere. But was stranger was what appeared to be a white, lower-case t, or even a cross, on nearly everything that the club owned. And, if one paid close enough attention, this odd cross was somewhere on each Roman numeral or somehow attached. Another thing to be noticed was the symbol or design that surrounding or was in this cross.

Numeral XI, for example, which was placed on a wall, had a rose with a thorny vine wrapped around this cross while the numeral itself shown a pink light, and it didn't change or turn off. Something about that seemed disturbingly familiar, but I was thinking too much about where the others were and just why they were there to begin with.

"Well…at least there wasn't a mandatory costume other than the mask," I said to my reflection, making a note to ask Lea or even Xigbar what the symbols meant. I was just thankful that I could have a momentary reprieve from the chaotic strobes, lasers, and rainbow of lights that hypnotically writhed and flashed in time to the remixes of radio hits that the DJ laid down, not counting the numerous techno songs that I had no idea existed.

I frowned at myself, deeply disappointed that I didn't stand up for myself. Again. Axel would normally stick up for me no matter the reason, and I suppose I let myself grow accustomed to that, which contradicted a goal of being independent to some degree. But I doubt that Axel would defend me from Xemnas who was obsessively hellbent on getting me to wear what I was. The only thing he let me choose was a simple dark purple tee with a large, red heart sprawled across the front with a thorny X in the heart's center, the symbol of Heartless, an exclusive and local, small-time version of Hot Topic, solely because it was a shade darker than my mask.

Otherwise, the coal-black skinny jeans (which aren't as…restricting as I originally thought), the maroon vest with black angel wings adorning the back, and low tops shoes, vaguely resembling Converse, that were a loud, solid bright-purple with matching shoelaces and all screaming at how…well, bright they were. Rather disturbing, but when it came to the shady lights of the VIP area, they looked rad. Still didn't ease my mind of the fact that I endorsed Airport XI _and _Heartless when I completely preferred the slim-fitting clothes of Heartless (a complete contradiction seeing as the little bulges of my belly protested anything that conformed to my shape).

The choker with a green glass butterfly amulet, 8-ball bead bracelet, and dual-fingered ring of sea horses – one red, the other purple – kissing that looped my middle and ring fingers, however, were three accessories that Xemnas hadn't selected for me, but I loved all the same. In fact, they were waiting for me on the table with a note that read, "_Wear Us._" Gifts from my blind date? Demyx must've tipped this boy off; how else would he have known the insect and marine animal I loved?

Briefly touching the butterfly at my neck and staring down at the ring and bracelet on my left hand, I caught my reflection flushing for a reason I couldn't rationalize, which went well with the ruby glitter of my mask and in my hair (though the latter location of red specks would be a bitch to get out later).

As the current song transitioned to a remix of _Alejandro _from the speakers hidden somewhere in the pale bathroom, one of the few songs that I actually recognized, I decided that I wasted as much time as I could in here, fanned my hair our, fixed my bangs again, and slipped my mask on before heading back out into the pulsating dance floor, hoping to God that every nip at my ass and hand trailing up my side was because I was mistaken for a girl…

Self-esteem and me hadn't met, you see, nor had we heard of the other. Which led me to hoping that this dude would take one look at me, have his hopes fall, politely let me down in search of someone hot, and give me enough inspiration to write a novel's worth of depressing poems that I'd post on Tumblr and DeviantArt, encouraged to publish a book of poetry, make millions, and die happily knowing that I was the most tragically brilliant poet of my time.

Just having slid myself back into the booth, my knee became a jackhammer, gnawed at my lip, and stared down at my fiddling fingers on the table when someone had cleared their throat.

I slowly trailed my gaze up from his jet-black Vans to the plain red skinny jeans that framed his incredibly thin legs (which looked _way_ tighter than mine, if that was even possible), eyes briefly drifting over the small-fitting, mid-chest neckline of the black hoodie he wore, finally settling on the muzzle of the wolf mask that hid everything but his wide smile. I'd love to have seen his hair, but the top of the mask slipped under the hood he had drawn up.

Oh. Shit. Me. Hard.

I was now grateful to be in the shady part of the club, otherwise this guy would've easily made out the heat that traveled across my cheeks. When we found each other's gaze (it was hard to find his eyes, what with no light shining on his mask as he looked down at me), a smile automatically spread across my lips.

"Hello, there," he spoke softly – well, soft enough to be heard with a raging beat in the background. "I see that you're wearing my little trinkets. I'm glad. Do you like them, Rivailo?" His lulling and formal voice held a smile that, damn the cliché, filled my stomach with butterflies.

I nodded, smiling still.

"Y-Yes, I do. Thank you." I glanced off to the side, wanting to hit myself for stumbling over my tongue on a first date. He must think I'm such a spaz!

"Hmm. Your brother was right."

My heart stopped.

There was so much that Demyx could've told him, so much that I was self-conscious about when pointed out. The rabbit twitch of my nose, the double blink of my eyes when confused, the head tilt when I'm listening attentively to someone, or, worse yet, the random and unconscious gesture of flicking my tongue out that I have no explanation for whatsoever? There have been countless times when I have innocently wet my lips only to capture then unneeded attention of the smutty girl who'll jump any guys' bones given the chance or the unfortunate attention of the arrogant straight guy who swears that even the gays are on his jock.

"D-Demyx?" I asked, my mind suddenly void of the carefree moron of a boy who is titled as my brother.

He nodded, holding my eyes with his own intently. Did he move closer? I don't remember him sitting that close to me. Or is my mind and heart playing their usual, cruel games with me?

"What was he right about, if I may ask…?" I didn't want to know, but the annoying persistence to need to know things spoken about me was in control of my voice box and it wouldn't be stopped.

"That you're cute, and I must say that I agree," he said as he flashed a flirtatious smile. Not giving me the chance to recuperate, he reached across the table to take my accessorized hand in his, bowed at the waist, and gently brushed his lips against the back of my hand, his eyes never wavering from mine. He stood tall once again but didn't relinquish my hand, which had the strangest ability of warming the entirety of my left arm. No, wait. The rest of my body suddenly had a temperature spike, and I wasn't sure if it was a thing to enjoy or to shy away from.

"Forgive me for not introducing myself," he continued. "My name is Lea, and it's going to be a pleasure learning more about you, Rivailo."

"Erm, n-nice to meet you too," I spoke through shaky lips. After our hands finally disconnected, I had the most strangest…I don't know, but something seemed off about this "Lee" person. I know I shouldn't write someone off after only first meeting, but I just knew that he knew something I knew but didn't want to let on that I knew what he did.

It was going to be a _long_ night with Lee…

And to my regret, it was. But there was much more to it than I ever anticipated, this blind dating concept.

For one, I made it through the date, an accomplishment for me in itself. Another tally to be chalked up? After the initial introductions, I fell right into place talking to him, as if we've known each other for years! That's something I always sought for in a partner; ya know, not just a boyfriend, but also a friend above all else, someone I could talk to, laugh with, or just to have there to endure my ridiculously funny or when-I-was-hurt rants. And honestly, everything was smooth sailing into the sunset…until he returned from a brief pit stop to the bathroom.

Lea – not Lee, as I learned upon asking; I always make an effort to know how to spell the names of everyone I meet since no one can spell mine correctly – has a few tattoos on his unnaturally thin and gangly body. How do I know of the wheel of flame circling his subtly toned navel, the red Roman numeral eight on his bony right hip, and the unusual white cross above his heart (which I could've sworn I've seen in a book or something; with Lea, my mind wasn't solid, so who knows)? Easy.

What I thought was a hoodie was actually two separate pieces of clothing.

The torso itself was actually an A-shirt, now draped over his shoulder. The sleeves, though, seemed to belong to a hooded, skin-tight leather jacket that was cut off just below – just thinking the words were awkward for me – his nipples, seeing as those were thankfully unseen, yet still displayed the taut and shallow dip between his pecs. I only knew it was leather (after all, I wasn't Marluxia who could spot knock-off Gucci from a mile away) because, at some point after coming back to our booth to take a breather from excessive dancing, Lea had possessively draped an arm around my neck, resting his chin atop my head. I totally would've backhanded him or something for being so forward after his near chivalry the entire night hadn't I seen the three, looming masses smirking at me behind their masks as they passed our booth.

I gratefully curled into his side after that, and despite the awkwardness I felt that clung to me to the point where I was unable to look at his wolf's mask (I did all I could to avoid his drool-inducing ink, but that just didn't happen), I thought it best to not leave his arms. Not that I complained about _that._

The night was passing and the dancing outlasted the resting periods two hours to one, and when we decided to leave the club entirely through a back exit (how Lea knew of it, I could only assume the he was close with the owner) and embraced the cold at three in the morning, chilling our sweaty bodies greatly, I was in a complete state of euphoria.

We hit the sidewalks of Twilight Town, enjoying the brisk evening and the city lights that never dimmed once the moon had awoken and shone the way for the other night crawlers as they roamed about to their usual haunts. It was then that the large clock tower resting at the very top of our hilly city had struck the hour, its cathedral gong reverberating into the streets and the soles of our feet.

To the inhabitants of our fair city, Twilight Town was surreal and magnificent because it was a town like no other, a diverse urbane society of its own that drew in all who passed by in the trains that connected us to the neighboring towns of Radiant Garden – my home, by the way, before I moved in with Uncle Braig – and Traverse Town (an _actual _town, if I may add), as well as Oblivion U and the far-off beaches with their harbors that ferried any and all to the humble and modern villages of the Destiny Islands, as Sora and Riku have said, a tropical paradise in which I must soon visit with them to see where the couple had grown up.

I was forced to hide my dismal frown with a bow of my head as I saw a cluster of girls holding masquerade masks walking in our direction as they smiled a bit too wide and giggled a bit too much, obviously checking Lea out. And it finally hit me at how gorgeous Lea was, devastatingly so.

Tall, dark, nearly model-thin; it was no problem to imagine that there would be a harem of men and women of all ages who'd throw themselves at him, anything to get just one touch, one taste. If I had removed my mask and he his, I'm sure a little of me would die inside at the flawless face that surely hid beneath the muzzled mask.

_That's the one topic that hadn't been brought up tonight_, I thought with a jump to my heart. Maybe my hope of leaving me for someone hotter could've meant a _girl_! I can't compete with girls! What if this entire night was just to help out a few friends in seeing that I get out in the social world, only to humor me?

In the back of my mind, I couldn't say that I didn't foresee this possibility. I just didn't think that it would affect me so much because let's face it; he's hot, I'm not. If my memory served correctly, hot hooked up with hot, leaving not to admire from afar. Then, the voice of an unidentified male jarred me from my doubtful – and most likely true – thoughts.

I looked up to see that my bad eyesight misperceived the cluster of girls; they were guys. Five incredibly and depressingly beautiful guys with flawless features and perfect hair, just on par with Lea, bringing me back to hot with hot and not with not. Had I mentioned that I was a Not?

Four of them had encircled Lea, brushing me off to the side as they all placed their hands on him and led him a foot or two away from where my heart was wrenched out of my chest and flattened on the pavement. They acted as if he wasn't accompanying anyone, as if he was the prize pumpkin ripe for the taking.

Staring at their backs, a cold chill ran down my spine as the fifth and prettiest boy closed the circle, facing Lea full on and pressing his entire body to the practically half-naked body of my date. Given their positions, the pentagram a Wicca uses to practice their dark magic came to mind, and Lea was the live sacrifice needed to sate the ritual's bloodlust to summon whichever demon, a demon of lust in this situation.

"Hey, there, babe," said the male staring up into Lea's shrouded eyes. "Wanna _come_ and have a little bit of fun with us?" He emphasized that word far more than he should have, and it revolted me at how blatantly they display their true desires, disregarding the reluctance – if any – Lea might have. It made my resolve as a feminist only strengthen, reaffirming that men (if they could be called such) have truly a long way to go in evolutionary chain to modern man.

But when hands started to explore the exposed skin of his taut abdomen, trace his tattoos, and dip into the waistband of his pants, fluttering across his thighs and daring to venture _there_, the breath left my lungs as it had when two consecutive soccer balls were kicked into my stomach when I hadn't heeded the warnings of my fourth grade peers during recess, forcing me to fall to my knees and tenderly clutch my throbbing torso as the heat quickly traveled throughout my body. I remembered thinking that I could've died or something; that the ghastly purple bruises had ruptured veins underneath, and that the waddling journey to the nurse's office I made would surely be the end of me. A thought that I believed to have been banished for the night had reappeared, and I considered it greatly.

I could leave.

Yeah! Forget about this entire night and the ordeal of blind dating; go back to admiring from afar in hoping that the object of my affection will notice me. It's not full proof or a plan of long-term merit – which there really wasn't any – but it was enough for me. Why push the envelope? Sometimes it's best to not open it up and see what the letter reads inside. And that's what I was going to do.

Turning on my heel, I prepared to march off into the direction we came, devise a plan on how to get back to Sunset Hill (the trains didn't run hourly this late, meaning I would have to wait another two hours until they began running again at five), and drown myself in my iHome plus an assortment of chips and cookies I had stashed in my closet for emergencies such as this until I found the desire to promote myself to either pistachio, cookies 'n' cream, or rocky road ice cream; hell, maybe all three!

Before any of that, though, gravity became my enemy once again as I had tripped over something and would've almost had landed on my face if I hadn't impulsively thrown out my hands in front of me. Sure, the blood now trickling down my right palm stung like a bitch, but it compared nothing to the nasty laughter behind me.

Carefully pushing myself to my knees – surely infecting the gash – to glare behind me, I saw that a new face entirely, one that didn't belong to the five faces of possible-aspiring-models that held Lea in their clutches. In fact, this rugged face was one that belonged to the dark alleyways of the city's nightlife.

Scowling, I muttered to the ground, "Watch where you're going, douche."

Now on my feet, I sighed in annoyance at the tiny tears that sprouted open at the knees of my jeans, and I wondered if Demyx or Marluxia would show mercy given they circumstances of how they appeared. Demyx would sympathize, for he has unfortunately experienced bullying in his lifetime with or without a reason, but Marluxia would scold me for destroying his jeans (if I wanted pre-ripped jeans, I should've bought them is what Marly – a nickname he despises completely – would fume) and then scold me for not having backbone, for not defending myself (some of us didn't have parents to enroll us in top-notch self-defense classes or have the guts – or stupidity; it depends on how you see it – to fight back).

Either way, I wouldn't have the chance to piteously attempt to be as brash as Marluxia and trash talk because a strong arm was constricting my airway, a hand somehow having caught one of my wrists in its brawny grasp behind my back, and a body pressing itself against my backside in such a manner that had fear grip and squeeze my heart into the beat that begged for oxygen, to release me, to–

"What you say, _fag_?" he hissed in my ear, his hot breath making me shudder as the severe smell of whiskey reached my nose. He wasn't even fazed by my free hand clawing at his arm, my nails trying to piece through his skin and cause a moment of distraction that would allow me to move his arm just enough for me to wiggle my way out of his chokehold and…and…and then what?

Run away? Leave this drunken bastard to pry on Lea? Or the other five, beautiful leeches? All who effectively resembled women far more than I did? Then it finally came to me, for in his state, it wouldn't matter whom it was.

"Look at _this_ faggot fest," he snickered in my ear. "Guess I'm not the only one out here lookin' for some ass, huh? Looks like the redhead gonna get it _real good_." With that, he licked the shell of my ear and had his free hand slip down the collar of my shirt and roam across my chest. He would've heard the whimper of the violation I felt, but he had decided that I should be allowed to breathe, removing his arm from my throat and instead muffling my mouth with his hand. I did my damnedest to mentally block his warm breath on my neck and his tongue by using up all my strength in trying to lower his hand from my lips, which I made the mistake of parting on an intake of breath and I actually _tasted_ the nicotine from his expected years of chain smoking that stained his fingers.

I heard a few startled gasps and several swift sets of footsteps accompanied by a "Fuck this, let's get outta here!" It seemed that Lea's sexual suitors were just the usual prissy gays that give guys like the one molesting me reason to beat up on, or so I've been told.

"Mmmph, your neck taste _good_," he slurred into my hair after another lick to my neck, my struggling only increasing as the seconds had slowly ticked by at an excruciating rate. "Wonder where my lil' bu'erfly likes to get his honey, 'cause I go' some roight here, baby."

That's when I thought, _Now or never_, and made my move.

Cleverly abusing the fatal flaw in the design of the human male, not caring that I wasn't able to use full force, I was satisfied with the agonized grunt when – balanced on my left leg – I quickly brought the heel of my right foot between the arrow my assailant's legs made right into his groin. Then, without telling my body to, an elbow slammed back into his stomach, the air audibly leaving his lungs to which I quickly followed into a tight 180 spin and deftly backhanded him squarely across the face with a fist, throwing off his inebriated equilibrium as he protectively held his crotch while hugging the street lamp nearby to try and keep himself vertical.

No sooner than three seconds later did I look at my hands and the whimpering man in my normal sight as opposed to the haze induced by the random rush of adrenaline I experienced.

Did _I _do that to him? I tried to assess. And where did _whatever_ that was even come from? But…more importantly, should a drunk who had just suffered significant damage to the family jewels and lungs be able to recover so quickly? Or be able to stand somewhat straight and mumble out threats that were further slurred by the most likely bit and bleeding tongue? Or be able to actually–

"Run!"

So confused as to what could only be described as the primal urge to defend oneself against adversary as I was, it took me about half a minute to see Lea charge in front of me, shielding me, and launch out a fierce right hook that knocked the wasted man to the ground, and from the way he ceased to move save for the occasional twitch of the foot or hand, he was down for the count. That quickly changed when he what appeared to be pushing himself to his elbows.

"Go! Run, Rivy!"

Not needing to be told a third time, I high-tailed it. Ran across the empty street to avoid the looks, questions, and gasps from the onlookers who stopped in their tracks, no longer deciding to walk towards the scene we were brought into. I thought I heard a woman on the phone, and by the sound of her hysteric-but-trying-to-sound-calm voice, she dialed 911.

Shit!

If I remember correctly from before leaving home, Xigbar said he was going to be on duty tonight! The Twilight Town Police Department would be here in mere minutes, and I was leading the escape into what might as well be foreign territory; I never roam the city at night, and if I am out, I'm in a car in the backseat, talking and laughing with Axel or Demyx as they haul me around simply to get out of the house because they can and want me to tag along, to bring out my inner, rebellious teenager (living with a cop can make one abide by rules, surprisingly enough). But if word got out at the station that someone in a butterfly masked was nearly raped alongside a guy with recognizable tattoos on his naked chest, I'm screwed.

Xigbar would figure out that it was me, ground me until I'm twenty-five, escort me everywhere _in his police cruiser_, and, if by some chance he couldn't do that personally, he'd hire Xemnas, Saïx, Riku, Axel, Luxord, Vexen, or any other of his/my friends who were responsible drivers that had their licenses for an entire year, which was really pertained to all my friends, all whom he knew; he may be a cool cat and all, but still, his duty as a man of the law wouldn't spare anyone.

It would be pretty "rad," as he often likes to say, of him if he did in this once instance.

Now, however, my concern was that I focus on not tripping over any more feet, whether my own or not. I was very proud of myself for running about a city block and a half without falling, stumbling or slowing down, but hearing someone shout my name reminded me that I was with Lea.

Easing myself to a jog until I came to a full stop, I leaned back against a building and breathed raggedly, my forehead covered in a thin film of sweat – I was out of shape, and I didn't take PE seriously. To this day, I still don't understand how I passed both years with a C, but I didn't really care, so long as my GPA was above a 2.0.

Seeing that the mask was creating a sauna for my face, I quickly ripped it off my head and sighed in relief as the chill of the night met my warm face, cooling down considerably.

Never wearing that thing again, or running with skinny jeans.

Clenching my hand into a fist, a strained gasp left my lips as I felt the palm of said hand being wet. Bringing up my open right hand, I saw a dirt-speckled, red pallet of blood. Every small twitch of my fingers agitated the still bleeding cut, which was larger than I imagined as it nearly stretch across my entire palm. That would be a pretty scar, and its creation would make for an interesting lie to tell Xigbar later on.

Oh, damn.

With all excitement during our my run (excitement? What?), I didn't consider the increase of blood flow that accompanies physical exertion. There wasn't a lot of blood nor was I dripping a puddle but running with clenched fists sure as hell led me to that assumption. Or had I been unconsciously forming fists, smearing the blood all the while?

"Rivailo, are you okay?" Lea virtually hollered in my face with concern lacing his voice, his hands clenching my shoulders. I could feel his nails through my shirt, but knew that he was too shaken up to think rationally – oh, the irony. I believed him to be relatively calm, or at least having found some logical thought, for he lifted my chin and examined my neck. "Does your throat hurt? Can you breathe well? Least he didn't leave you bruised." He proceeded to check the wrist that held my mask as well, sighing when there was no red mark in the shape of a hand.

Lea just stood there for a minute in front of me, arms crossed, keeping me there against the wall; for my protection, I assumed. And I remained leaning against the wall, as well, oddly calm; and this was me, the one who freaks out when I believe a spider is crawling up my leg when, in reality, it's just a long strand of my hair. Thanks to the mask – which I'd have liked for him to remove – and lack of decent lighting, I couldn't exactly interpret his expression.

It unnerved me, being so close to his near-bare torso yet having miraculously escaped a drunk on the hunt _and_ landing a few good blows to him; my mind and body were at war, and that scared me more than anything. But I loathed silence more.

Tentatively, I spoke his name. No response. I called out again, a little louder this time. Still nothing. I dared for a third time, but as I peered into the eyeholes I found poison-green eyes glaring at me, and held my tongue. Lea had been a perfect gentleman up till now, but that must've been a façade for my sake. That, or he was genuinely upset that I com_plete_ly screwed up the date and nearly got someone in our pants.

In a flash, he changed.

"What were you _thinking_, Rivailo?" Lea pleaded to me, hands held out to me as a beggar would when in need of money for booze or food, though often than not the former.

_I wasn't_, I wanted to reply, but him standing over me brought back the memories of Xigbar scolding my childhood self when I did something I wasn't supposed to after he had advised me to not do whatever it was, which then instilled in me a fear of doing anything incorrectly, and held strong nearly fifteen years later.

"You _weren_'_t_ thinking at all! What if that guy wasn't plastered? What would you do then? You wouldn't be _able_ to do anything because he would've had the upper hand! He–"

And, like so many times before with Marluxia whom loves to yell at me, I lost my cool.

"Ex_cuse_ me? Who the _hell_ do you think _you_ are to be lecturing _me_?" I stood up taller to try and get into his face as much as I could. I felt my brows arch together in anger and could envision my lips pulling back over my teeth; Sora teases that my obsession for wolves led me to acquiring this trait, and I couldn't really disagree with that.

"You don't know the first thing about me, Lea!" I half laughed, half yelled, caught in between of the aftereffects of adrenaline courage and adrenaline panic. I think my hysteria was clearly evident upon Lea's reaction.

With mouth gaped, head cocked back, chest caved in slightly, hands raised unsurely at his sides, I must've been quite the sight to Lea in comparison to my almost mousy behavior since walking into the club. I suppose this balanced out his flaring anger – goes to show you that everyone truly isn't all that they seem.

"And for that matter, don't even _dare_ to take a parental tone with _me_, alright? Not even my dad speaks to me like I'm eight-years-old again!

"Damn it," I huffed to the side. "I knew should've ducked out on this date when I had the chance–" I stole a quick glance to the baffled man. "–But no. I'm the kind of person who puts himself before others in situations where I'm capable." I briefly went over that sentence in my head, to see if it made sense, but I wasn't able to detect anything other than _my_ flaring anger.

Again, we both remained as we were. A stalemate had arisen. Why was it that I always had to make the first move in silences?

I walked off.

"Whoa, whoa, hey! Where do you think you're going?"

Barking a laugh over my shoulder, I saw that he was right at my heels. "The hell away from you!"

Ten steps later, there Lea was, blocking my way (when did he take my mask?) and continued to block me no matter which way I went until I threw my hands up in exasperation, quickly folding them tightly across my chest until I whined at the pain.

Bringing my injured hand chin-level, I saw that more blood had spewed from the accursed gash. Enter a slight hemaphobic yell of sorts, and our arguing ended right then and there in pursuit of a drugstore to obtain hydrogen peroxide, rubbing alcohol, and gauze. After my palm was mummified, we kept a keen eye out for a 24-hour joint because we were ravenous for some grub and, well, Lea felt guilty for everything that happened post-Organization, so he treated me to a "proper dinner" at a buzzing, smalltime diner known as Lucid Gem (alternatively known as Lucid Luci's for those familiar with Luci, the owner) where the wait to be seated was at least thirty minutes all day long.

The next hour flew by and comprised of laughter and shoving bits of burger, pancakes, French toast, and fries into each other's faces, a breakfast fit for kings according to Lea. Feeding him would've been easier, hadn't he kept the damn mask on! Our waitress stared at him oddly until he explained his reasoning of wanting to remain an enigma, full-well knowing it would keep me wondering.

It did, even as we hailed a cab to take us to Central Station – we weren't going to walk up every hill of the city after the ordeal we went through – and even as I threw myself on my bed, too exhausted to remember when I got off the train or even trudged up the stairs, let alone peel off the clothes I was resigned to wear. A groan left my lips when I heard the quieted snores of Demyx and Xigbar; they and Xemnas would assault me with a thorough questioning in regard of my night with Lea.

Delightful.

Sleep was at the start of holding me in its wonderful embrace when three words tore through my mind like a hurricane and my eyes flew open, scaring off any chance of sleep I had.

_Run! Go, Rivy!_


	5. The Light Burns

_**Last time in What Matters Most…**_

_The next hour flew by and comprised of laughter and shoving bits of burger, pancakes, French toast, and fries into each other's faces, a breakfast fit for kings according to Lea. Feeding him would've been easier, hadn't he kept the damn mask on! Our waitress stared at him oddly until he explained his reasoning of wanting to remain an enigma, full-well knowing it would keep me wondering._

_It did, even as we hailed a cab to take us to Central Station – we weren't going to walk up every hill of the city after the ordeal we went through – and even as I threw myself on my bed, too exhausted to remember when I got off the train or even trudged up the stairs, let alone peel off the clothes I was resigned to wear. A groan left my lips when I heard the quieted snores of Demyx and Xigbar; they and Xemnas would assault me with a thorough questioning in regard of my night with Lea._

_Delightful._

_Sleep was at the start of holding me in its wonderful embrace when three words tore through my mind like a hurricane and my eyes flew open, scaring off any chance of sleep I had._

Run! Go, Rivy!

**X ~ X ~ X ~ X ~ X ~ X ~ X ~ X**

For the rest of spring break after that night, I went back to old habits of mine, habits I left behind after becoming acquainted with my new home. I was quiet at dinner, the one meal we share as a family. My appetite had lessened, no longer a black hole for my stomach. My chin was often pointing to my chest, eyes focused on where I was walking. No longer vented on Tumblr, have my few followers reblog their sympathies. Didn't go out often, but that was more of Xigbar's request than mine; I didn't want to, anyway.

Part of this was thanks to the damn drunk.

Before the next day ended, I told Xigbar what happened and the police found him. The calls the station received verified my description of him, the time and the place, so he was going to be locked away for whatever Xigbar said he would be; I wasn't really paying attention. This led him to believe that I was in a state of shock or withdrawing from the world around me and fortifying my mental walls to prevent anything like that happening again – Xigbar didn't know that the latter was right, and it became evident that he considered _professional_ help, but Xemnas saw that as only more a reason for me to hide in my shell.

Lea was to blame, of course, seeing as he didn't help me from the very beginning. I tried to explain his…ordeal, as well, but I was talking to the cold badge of Xigbar's uniform, and trying to reason with the uniform instead of the dad was a complete waste of time. I thought at least one call would've told whichever officer that I had and was defended against the man, but knowing society, everyone saw a rather short person thought to be a girl being attacked then followed by someone who was half-naked.

Lady Luck hadn't bestowed me with her gift, as Luxord would say, the man of Xigbar's close-knit circle of friends who believes everything is a game of luck. He teaches English rhetoric at the university, which is in some way ironic, for the English language is structured, has rules, regulations, and expectations that are essential to communication of any form. How Luxord sees rhetoric of all things to be something gambled with is out of my mental grasp, but he is a man to be respected; Xigbar doesn't, but that's how he is with his crowd, the cocky, arrogant, surfer-cop.

What was eating me alive for the past two weeks wasn't about luck or who was to blame, however.

No, this was about how, of all people I know and love, that _he_ had to go out and create such a façade to spend a night with me as a date instead of my best friend. I should be elated that I went out with him, should be writing sappy poems of being closer to him than I ever imagined, should be blushing because he would hold my hand while facing the merciless eye of the public…

Instead my best friend betrayed my trust, crossed an already thin line that shouldn't have been crossed in the first place, and that mortified me.

Trudging down the halls of school the Monday after break, I tried to avoid and ignore everyone who whom Axel had badgered to check up on me, to tell me to reply to his texts, to call him at lunch, to wait for him at the school parking lot so he can pick me up and have a talk with me.

I wasn't having any of that.

When the bell for lunch finally rang, I didn't bother going to the cafeteria. I remained seated in Ms. Marsh's Economics class for a minute longer and contemplated heading on over to the library, but everyone knew that I retreat there when I have an "emo" episode. I couldn't go to the Drama building because Sora would wait there after class for Riku to bring him food, seeing as beginning drama is his fifth period and advanced drama is Riku's sixth, as was mine; thankfully Ms. Trusdale didn't give sixth period a chance for non-theatre conversation when we were to watch some movie in regards to theatre; today's video would be about pantomime. Again.

Lunch still gave everyone thirty full minutes to scour the school in search for me, and it would be inevitable to hide for they _will_ discover my whereabouts. There _was _another option and it was too easy to follow through with, but taking the ditching route again would result in something severe when I got home.

Quite the dilemma I was faced with, but as dear Demyx would say, "If you know you're gonna get in trouble, might as well have a kickass time and fuck the consequences!"

And that was that.

Sliding my bag across my chest, I left the class and headed for the main office along with the seniors who don't have a sixth. I've ditched before, but as a short and shaky sophomore whose odd eyes darted everywhere, at every person who was buzzing through office doors and scurrying around me when I was walking to slow for their tastes or had just narrowly avoided running into me, spilling the stack of papers they were hoisting to/from wherever.

Now, a still shaky and slightly taller senior, no one in the office really gives a damn. I mean, really. I'm sure even freshmen could – wait. The girl ahead of me _is _a freshmen; I've seen her in fourth period beginning drama once when Ms. Trusdale had a couple of advanced kids put on a few performances at the start of the year, to give them a glimpse of what they could possibly aspire to be next year should they decide to join up with the "higher ups"; yeah, Ms. Trusdale is really weird when it comes to the beginner classes and our class. Or she's just reeeeally dying to claw her eyes out at how terrible fourth and fifth period are.

Either way, I slipped out the main entrance alongside the other seniors and underclassmen without worry, wearing a wide, victorious grin that raised my sullen spirit slightly, enough for me to decide where to spend the remaining hour of school as I gradually distanced myself from the educational prison. A siren in the distance reminded me that I would have to keep a very watchful eye out for wherever I chose to isolate myself; Xigbar has everyone on patrol keep a keen eye out for his kids, just as he does for theirs when he takes to the streets.

As I crossed the street, the perfect locale came to mind and I knew very well that I would be safe there from all who'll look for me, that someone at said locale would understandingly keep her lips sealed.

Settling myself on the usual stool in the not-so-well-visited café called Silver Blackfire, run by an odd guy whom everyone calls Vivi. I don't know him very well – in fact, I don't think anyone does, except for his employees – but he let me come to his café to use the Internet when I'm in situations as these and when going home isn't the option that will help me out. It also helps to have a friend work there.

How else could I sit behind the counter on Naminé's laptop and serve the rare and odd clientele that waltz in for a cup of java in a café painted black with silver flames on nearly every surface – shouldn't it be painted silver with black flames? – filled with paintings, photographs, and supposed items of the dark arts that are archaically hanging on the walls?

Honestly, this place, at first, creeped me out beyond all reasonable doubt and I questioned Naminé's sanity when she had first applied here six years ago as an eighth grader. Granted, I didn't know her as well as I do now, and she was going through what I could only assume to be a dark chapter in her life that year; nevertheless, she was my very first best girl friend and, well, very first genuine friend at that point in time (this was a little before I actually met _him_).

And speak of the devil (no pun intended), in walked in the now perky blonde, smiling and without her walking continent. That was odd.

"Hey, Nami-Nami!" I chirped with a wave of a hand, lit up instantly at her returning smile.

"Riva-Riva! What're you doing here, mister," she asked as she slid herself onto the other stool behind the counter, suspicion in her eyes as she regarded myself and the laptop placed on the counter, conveniently behind the display of baked goods (she very well knows that she is to blame for my enlarged sweet tooth since her baking began).

Chuckling with a nervous edge, I shrugged and framed my best "what did I do?" face and gave her my signature smile of timid innocence.

Yeah, she wasn't buying that.

"Mm-hmm," Naminé murmured, glaring at me with a blank expression that awaited an answer; she wasn't going to get one.

"Well, alright. I'll let this slide, Rivailo, but only because I love you so much. And you simply _must_ have a positively _brilliant_ reason for skipping out on Trusdale's class and plopping yourself behind _my_ laptop – which I _thought_ I had hid well, but it seems Vivi likes you more than his employee!" She said this with a hard but lighthearted giggle while trailing her fingers up and down my sides, making me squirm and laugh.

Translation: You _will_ tell me why you're here this time and what this reason. Don't make me call my Lexy-Lex over here; her Lexy-Lex had the most oddest ability of simply standing in front of me, effectively using his massiveness to have me sing my scared, little canary heart out.

Shocker.

With that being said, a usual and brooding customer strolled through the door and captured Naminé's attention as he took to his favored table, brought out a book, and gave my friend a polite smile, his silent way of asking for his drink of choice.

Sighing quietly as she busied herself with his order, I glanced back at the laptop screen and beamed at the little window that popped up through MSN Instant messenger.

Thirteen_Boy: Rivailo! ^.^ How've you been? It's been awhile, and I've missed you!

Too late to stop it, a squeal flew past my lips ad had brought Naminé back over to investigate, leaning over my shoulder and resting her chin there as she read the screen.

"…Thirteen_Boy misses you?"

I caught the insinuation in her voice, and I felt the blood brighten my face as I saw from the corner of my eye her raised eyebrow and wide grin. The clicking tongue signified that her mind was in the gutter and needed to be resurfaced to street level.

"Ew! Naminé! It's not like _that_!"

"Now, last time I checked," she began, stroking an imaginary beard. "When a guy says he misses you over the Internet, he really means–"

"_No_! No, no, no, no! No!" I huffed, deeply embarrassed. "I've never actually _met_ him, Nami-Nami."

Sitting back on her stool, drumming her fingers along the counter, chin resting on her other palm, I could tell she would not settle for being in the dark about two things today, and that if my being here would like to retain its secrecy from all others, I would have start explaining at least this. In detail. Though, for an Internet friendship, there might not be much to tell…

"Okay, okay. To be perfectly clear, Thirteen_Boy is my not-so-anonymous online ear to listen and shoulder to cry on when I…"

Closing my eyes, I bowed my head to completely avoid the hurt look I expected of Naminé.

"When I…feel that I can't turn to anyone else to talk to, when whatever is bugging me hits _too_ close to home…ya know?"

A few silent seconds passed, and I was waiting for the sharp intake of breath. I imagined Naminé bringing her hand to her heart, nibbling on her lower lip while it quivered, her gorgeous eyes dimming as they bored into my profile, trying to reestablish the strong connection we had, waiting for me console her, to say that I still value her friendship, that I still trust her…and the slight devastation when she figured out that my shell couldn't be reopened for her.

Giggling shouldn't have been her response.

Cracking an eye open and looking at my forever-bubbly sister and partner in crime, Naminé's expression had shown only her empathy.

Without a word she gently brushed her lips to my forehead, hugged me reassuringly, and averted her gaze to the door at the entering customer. Naminé never fails to astound me with her compassion.

Another IM alert brought my eyes back to the laptop.

Thirteen_Boy: Rivailo? You still there, man?

Thirteen_Boy: Is something wrong? :[

Apologetically frowning at the screen (as if he could see me), I promptly typed a reply.

Butterfly_Kid: Haha! Sorry, SunShine. I was talking to a friend. :] No need to worry.

Thirteen_Boy: Oh! Whew! For a second, I thought you were made at me. :'[

I leaned away from the laptop, a tad confused before responding.

Butterfly_Kid: Mad? X] I would only be mad at you if you took my French fries without asking. LMFAO!

Thirteen_Boy: Bwaaaaahahahahahahahaha! XDDDD

Thirteen_Boy: * dies laughing *

Butterfly_Kid: O.o Uh-oh. Guess I broke the SunShine! XD

Laughter bubbled within me, but I had to gnaw on my lip to keep a straight face as to not alert the enigmatic Vivi that I was distracting Naminé from her job…again. I've gotten her in trouble one too many times through the years that she's been here, and she really likes this job, meaning I had to try and behave myself whilst in her presence. So far, I was in the clear.

Thirteen_Boy: Pretty much! XD

Thirteen_Boy: Heh. So how's it goin' for you, Butterfly?

Butterfly_Kid: Eh. Not much, SunShine.

Thirteen_Boy: …

Butterfly_Kid: …What?

Thirteen_Boy: Sigh. What's wrong…really? :/

Butterfly_Kid: Is it that obvious…? /

Thirteen_Boy: ~_~' you're kinda easy to read, kid…even through IM.

Butterfly_Kid: Damn you and your skill to detect things such as these!

Thirteen_Boy: …

Butterfly_Kid: Sigh. Okay, okay…

Butterfly_Kid: It's about…you know who…

Thirteen_Boy: I thought as much. :/

SunShine, or so he prefers me to call him (I never asked why he won't tell me who he is even though I've known him for at least four years. Or is it three? I forget, but I just know that I met him in a chat room a little after a year I met Naminé. At the time, it was one of my first attempts to try and reach out to someone to talk to, to try and connect with and actually open up to. It just so happened that Thirteen_Boy was the one to hear me out, and we've been pen pals ever since; also, if it wasn't apparent, he and I are two of the few teenagers who type/text with correct grammar. "Wat r u up 2" gets annoying too quickly), knows every little detail about my…friendship with Axel, and I update him whenever I see him online.

Thirteen_Boy: Vai? I don't wanna sound like a major dick…but is Lea even worth it?

That left me devastatingly speechless on far too many levels.

Thirteen_Boy: I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm sure Lea's an awesome guy and all…but in my honest opinion? It sounds as if this dude is just plucking your heartstrings.

Thirteen_Boy: Look, I know that this isn't what you wanna hear, but I care about you too much to have you so strung over this one guy any longer. You've known him since, what, 9th grade? It's been four years, and all he's done is send you a life's worth of mixed signals that's got you by the balls, that's got you waiting for something to happen… :[

Thirteen_Boy: Rivailo, trust me. I've been the sad little kitten rubbing against someone's leg, waiting for my share of genuine love and affection, and because of that, I can't trust people as much as I used to…

Thirteen_Boy: …and out of the many things we have in common, you know THAT kind of pain better than anyone else I know… :'[

Butterfly_Kid: …

Thirteen_Boy: …Rivailo?

Butterfly_Kid: …I never said the name "Lea" to you before…

Right there, the puzzle was solved. Right there, SunShine crossed the line. Right there, Lea Sinclair had some explaining to do. And right there, I slammed the laptop shut and stormed out of the Silver Blackfire, leaving Naminé in a contained, panicked concern for me, but I didn't care. The only thing on my mind was how much I was going to hate myself in the morning for confronting the object of my affection in such rigid circumstances.

Hopping onto one of the railcars that spider web across Twilight Town, I sat myself at the very back. For as long as roughly four years, the city railcars would always be the place – or plac_es_ – that I would be to more or less peacefully clear my head a frustrating day at school. This was before I had enough trust to confide to Demyx or Xigbar and enough confidence to make friends with any kids my age, as well as Naminé and was _way _before Sora, Riku, and Kairi were allowed to move away to Twilight Town; their friendship is one that no one can break, not even parents. Odd enough, the railcars were an effective way to vent my pent-up feelings to the caring strangers I met with each trip across the city. Against Xigbar's previous advisement when he took me, I continued to seek out these strangers (primarily elderly women; I never met either of my grandmothers – may they rest in peace) to hear me out.

Today, however, no familiar faces were riding with me; then I remembered that I was technically still in school while the friendly strangers were wherever.

Good. That gave me _plenty_ of time to sort out what exactly I'd say to _him_ and just how he and SunShine are acquainted with one another. But _argh_! That's so infuriating to know! All this time, I was complaining to who was thought to be an anonymous person who was, in reality, familiar with the subject of my complaining! I felt like SunShine betrayed my confidence, or something akin to that. For all I know, SunShine could've been leaking all of my venting to Axel–

I gasped epically at a new thought: What if Axel asked Sunshine to seek me out?

Yeah! What if – just _what if_ – Axel, knowing full well that I wouldn't completely open up to him, that he knew me so well that he anticipated me to reach out to the Internet for my ranting and heart pouring?

Could he do that? _Would _he do that? He's already proven to me that he'll go as far as using an alias as a means to find a weak point in my emotional/mental defenses. Or what if Axel just had someone only he knew to be around my age, _posing_ as an online peer counselor? At this rate, for all I know Axel _is _SunShine, and I was the clueless idiot who obviously wasn't taught to not believe everyone on the Internet for who they claim to be.

I didn't have an answer to any of these things or had no starting point to be throwing out radically irrational assumptions, but one of them was casting a new light to my so-called best friend.

Axel Sinclair isn't who he claims to be. I think.

Nearly falling out of the railcar and speeding my way down many streets and sidewalks lined with various apartments, condominiums, and other such living complexes in downtown, I came to an out of breath halt outside Axel's building, climbed the three cement steps, and rang the buzzer. Once the receptionist rang me in, I flew up the stairs two at a time until I reached the fourth floor.

It was at that time that I knew I had to take a breather (my side was killing me from all the running and climbing), try and contain livewire emotions, and bring myself to be as civilized and mature as I could possibly muster for an endeavor such as this one, where my brittle trust was ground into a fine powder and scattered to the wind.

Tiptoeing my way down the halls, mentally counting off the numbers on the doors until the dreaded 420 was before me, I brought my keys from my pocket, and inserted the spare Axel had given me into the lock, and turned the knob.

The door gave way easily, for it was already unlocked.

Two months had past since I was here last, and his studio hadn't exactly changed. It was still semi-neatly kept, some clothes scattered hear and there on the floor and what little furniture he had up ahead in the living area. To my right, the bathroom door was closed and the light was off, meaning that Axel had recently drenched the throne in Febreeze (poor Riku – how does he live with that?). Next to the bathroom was the seemingly small but spacious closet with the door slightly ajar, to the point where I could see the mess inside. To my left, the kitchenette was…well, it was a hot mess, really; with all the paper plates, pizza and Chinese take-out boxes, and beer bottles littering the counter and small dining table, the apartment officially became that of bachelor. But when did Axel start drinking again? Or did Riku ask Axel to buy him alcohol? Which then made me wonder when Riku picked up the habit…if it was true.

Closing the door behind me, I ventured further into the messy apartment and made my way past the closet and the half-wall that divided the kitchenette from Axel and Riku's designated sleeping space along the wall to the left, into the living area where the couch and two recliners with a coffee table in the center faced the right wall where the flat screen was set up on a TV credenza (all of which, had empty food cartons as well as clothes; but…did they just strip and toss their clothes in random directions or something? How else do you get a pair of pink briefs hanging off the TV, because I would like to know) on their surfaces, and made my way to the easel that faced out to the bay window divided the living area in half.

Taking a seat on the stool behind the easel (the light pouring in from the window let me see that the silhouette of my hair was, as usual, frizzy; joy), I was instantly impressed at what lay on the canvas.

The scene was the beneath ocean waves at sunset, the surface above an orangey halo while the world below was splotched with vivid yellow rays of light, giving a glimpse of a marlin swimming away. Two dolphins seemed to be dancing as they chased after a school of fish. In the very distance, the murky shadow of a blue whale could vaguely be seen. Far below where the light managed to reach was a coral reef, its residence darting in and out of sight. Looking closely, I saw two clown fish hiding in a pink anemone, a subtle reference to _Finding Nemo_. However, all this was nothing compared to what lay in the very center of the marine life. It was blank, but its shape and shading (or is it contrasting?) determined that it was going to be a bubble. What would be in it – if anything – could only be seen once the piece was finished.

Feeling a slight smile play at my lips, I stepped away from the painting and proceeded to leave, seeing as that the one my anger was focused on was obviously not here (and the fact that the painting mellowed me out; what can I say? I'm the Fish, a Pisces, a dreamer, and that canvas captured my dreams of living in the sea), but stopped where I stood when I saw something that _shouldn't_ be as it currently was. It brought a feeling of unease that knotted in my stomach, and I knew that the reason behind it would not be to my liking.

Out of the many years that I had known Axel and his friends, taking into account what they have all told me about the redhead, as well as what I had personally seen myself, Axel was never one to make his bed. Not when his mother would drunkenly yell him all the way until his eighteenth birthday and especially not when he finally had enough money to smack down for the four hundred and twenty square feet of messy studio three years ago. And yet, here it is, just as neat and kept as Riku's bed was next to his. Standing in between the gap that separated the two, and if it wasn't for the obvious blanket of fiery hearts, I wouldn't be able to tell which bed belonged to whom.

So then…what brought about this rare exception?

"Hmmm? You home, Ax?"

Enter the shiver down my spine, the shiver that tightened the uneasy knot in my stomach, the shiver that was the reason that would not be of my liking.

"Hey! I'm talking to you, raven head! Who are you, how did you get in here, and answer me soon before I call the cops."

Angling my head to the source of the voice, I had to a double take. Standing in the doorway of the bathroom in nothing but some pajama bottoms stood a boy who I thought to be a previous brown-haired boy.

"Sora? Did…did you dye your hair?"

"Sora? How do you know– Whoa! Hold up Answer my question, dammit! Who the hell are you?"

Whoever this kid was, he was no way in hell Sora; our little brunette doesn't raise his voice often. When he does, it's because he is completely upset, and an upset Sora is something to be feared.

This blonde boy was nearly a carbon copy of Sora Healey! Same blue eyes, near identical body frame, similar facial features…they kind of even sounded the same. Were they twins? If so, why wouldn't Sora ever mention him?

Now I genuinely was confused, but I answered his questions anyway.

"Um…I'm Rivailo, I used a key, and well, calling the cops would be a bad idea for two reasons. One, my dad is a cop, so yeah. Wouldn't be as effective as you'd hope. And two, I'm sure you should be in school, too, meaning you'd just screw yourself over by doing that."

Whoever he was, he just stood there, staring at me with an expression that was unreadable. If it was readable, I'd have to assume that he was probably thinking, _I'm standing in the bathroom with no shirt on and some kid with messy black hair is just staring at me like I don't have a shirt on…which I don't_.

Okay, so he probably wasn't thinking that at all, but I was too shell-shocked to think of anything else other than the fact that a boy (who was a little cute upon closer examination) roughly my age whom I've never seen before is standing in the bathroom of my friends' apartment. How do you get around _that _awkward moment?

Well, it seemed that this boy had the answer to that question.

"Lockhart. Rivailo Lockhart," he said casually, walking away from the bathroom a bit, sporting a slight smile on his face, even! His next words were spoken more reproachfully, the smile shrinking to that of someone who knew of a wrong they did to another. "Aw, c'mon! You know me, right…? Okay, so…not my real name, but you know me better as…SunShine."


	6. Of Booze and Bells

_**Last time in What Matters Most…**_

_Whoever he was, he just stood there, staring at me with an expression that was unreadable. If it was readable, I'd have to assume that he was probably thinking,_ I'm standing in the bathroom with no shirt on and some kid with messy black hair is just staring at me like I don't have a shirt on…which I don't.

_Okay, so he probably wasn't thinking that at all, but I was too shell-shocked to think of anything else other than the fact that a boy (who was a little cute upon closer examination) roughly my age whom I've never seen before is standing in the bathroom of my friends' apartment. How do you get around that awkward moment?_

_Well, it seemed that this boy had the answer to that question._

"_Lockhart. Rivailo Lockhart," he said casually, walking away from the bathroom a bit, sporting a slight smile on his face, even! His next words were spoken more reproachfully, the smile shrinking to that of someone who knew of a wrong they did to another. "Aw, c'mon! You know me, right…? Okay, so…not my real name, but you know me better as…SunShine."_

**X ~ X ~ X ~ X ~ X ~ X ~ X ~ X**

The apartment door opened right then, along with a greeting of, "I'm home, Rockin' Roxy! Are you decent–"

Said voice let out a gasp as its owner saw me dash around the furniture and charge at SunShine, saw my fist connect with his face, and caught the staggering blonde before he fell against the door. Before I had the chance to rear my fist back for another strike, strong arms held me back, and actually had to drag me away a foot or two as I struggled to get free, anger being the sole motor behind my flailing limbs.

Not waiting for everyone to recover from the feral grunt that erupted from my vocal chords, my attempts at a escape my human restraints were becoming more violent as SunShine shrunk back into Axel's arms, looking scared and pathetic and confused, caressing his cheek and lightly touching it, testing its sensitivity.

Inside, I felt as if I was soaring for scoring a solid hit against a moving target (Xigbar had taken up on teaching me the basics of self-defense and then some in these past two weeks, and I, of course, has found the punching bag at the school gym to be a great way to release pent-up anger; go figure).

"_YOU!_" I roared, jetting my chin out at SunShine, leaning my body forward seeing as my arms were held behind my back. "What the hell are you _doing _here?" It came to the point where both my wrists were secured by one hand and the free arm was then wrapped around my neck, forcing me to keep still unless I wanted to choke myself; it kept nearly every fiber of my being to repress certain memories.

"V-Vai! What's wrong with you? Why'd you slug Roxas?"

I turned my head to the body behind me and saw silver locks. Internally, I growled; Riku was a scrapper despite the pretty looks, and he would pin me to the floor in five seconds flat if I didn't calm down within a three-minute timeframe. And, well, I could never hurt Riku, not even if he had ripped up every single heartfelt poem I've ever written.

_Roxas_.

Learning his name boiled my blood, brought about the venom in my mouth. My undeveloped muscles were tense, coiled, and ready to strike. One word, just _one word_, from "Rockin' Roxy" would be the trigger for me to force my way out of Riku's arms and claw out his eyes, rip out his tongue, break his hands, and tear off his legs. It seems that, in Xigbar's hope to arm me with the skills to fairly defend myself, he also gave birth to a beast that had been chained caged and locked away for far too long, a lust for violence circulating his veins.

"RIVY!"

Hearing my name had dimmed the hellfire that ruled my mentality enough to the point where I could reevaluate the situation at hand. Everything was as I had suspected back at the café.

I didn't like that. Not one bit.

"You…know SunShine?" So mad, I was, my voice came out in a pathetic rasp as I blankly stared at Axel, waiting to hear the answer I was too hurt to accept.

The room went dead quiet, to the point where we could hear the wind picking up outside the window. It may have just been me, but the air circulating the studio dropped a few degrees, the warmth radiating from Riku feeling hotter than it should've been.

Just what was this? I must have counted fifty of my rapid heartbeats before I recalled the puzzle.

"…_He's_ the reason why," I began, the tenor of my voice dripping with hushed malice. "Why I wasn't allowed to come here for _two months_…to see the person I trusted second to _Thirteen_Boy_!" I threw out the user name of the blonde still whimpering in Axel's arms with disgust, poison infused in every word. "_He's_ the one I was always chatting with, _Lea_, but I guess you already knew that, _didn't you_?"

To this, baffled jewels of sapphire and emerald sought my amethyst only to find nothing of the boy they thought they knew in their pools, only to find that every word said by any party in this moment was inching its way onto thin ice.

"R-Rivy…! What are you say–"

"NO! Don't _fucking _act stupid, LEA!"

Again, the room went quiet in complete mortification at my yelling at Axel of all people, let alone for the fact that I dropped the F-bomb. Bowing my head, this gave me the chance to roughly free myself from Riku's limp hold, gave me the chance to slow down my beating heart, to calm my fury-spiked breathing, to keep the nails of my fists from piercing my palms.

It was no easy feat.

Three allotted minutes had ticked by, and my mind was a hive of hornets, each thought pricking my brain as it buzzed through my stream of consciousness, stinging me again and again and again as my thoughts tried to assort themselves to only jumble and confuse me, making a challenge of presenting my case/argument – whatever – to the three boys still staring at me as if I should be checked into a room with white padding and I in a straightjacket.

Taking a deep, emotionally ragged breath before I spoke, I threw a malicious glance at the blonde before focusing on the redhead.

"So…'_Rockin'_ Roxy' is the _kitten_ you've spoken so fondly of, huh?" I threw a reluctant glance at the Sora look-alike one more time, holding back a smirk as he flinched; at that point, I was talking with my hands, throwing them this way and that, emphasizing my words. "The kitten with golden fur and pretty blue eyes? I'm allergic to cats, and you _knew _that! You knew that I wouldn't come within a five-foot radius of your door with a cat around!

"God! If you were screwing around with him, why create such a half-lie, Sinclair? Wait, I know! Because that's what you are, Sinclair – a_ liar_, a good-for-nothing liar who loves what he does best. I mean sin _is_ in your name, after all! And you wanted some part to be true, right? To ease your guilt of lying to my face! Just shows that I was stupid enough to fall for it, to fall for _everything _you've shoved down my throat!

"Who _are_ you? Really? 'Cause apparently everything I _thought_ I knew about you are based on your fucking _lies_."

Riku spoke up first, "Whoa! Let's calm down a bit, hmm? Why don't–"

"Shut the hell up, Riku!"

"Rivy," Axel exclaimed with a shocked anger. "What's gotten–"

"NO! You're not allowed to call me that anymore, dammit!"

Axel frowned a bit before fading to impassive. "I can if I want. Besides, it suits you…to me, anyway…"

"That's irrelevant to the situation!"

"Then what IS? What IS relevant to this situation?"

"You LIED to me, Sinclair! About EVERYTHING you told me that night at the Lucid Gem!" I was shouting, and the apartment on either side was void of sound all of a sudden. "You _know_ how I feel about lying! For my so-called best friend to resort to _lying_ to my face is too much for me, not when I'm so…so trusting of you! Not when I hold you so high on a damned pedestal!"

Whatever Axel was going to say seemed to come to a train-wreck halt on his tongue, visibly tripping over his own words. I wondered why until I felt a warmth streak down the side of my face, leaving a hot trail on my cheek. I was so angry, it took a few heartbeats for me to realize what it was.

"Rivy," the redhead asked tentatively. "Are…are you…crying?"

"Vai…what's wrong, man?" Riku chimed in, taking a cautionary step closer to me while Axel stepped around Roxas and began a slow trek over to where I remained fix to the floor.

"Nothing you guys. I'll be f-fine. Really! I should just–"

"Just tell me what's got you so upset, Rivy!" Axel exclaimed, brow furrowed in concern, narrowing the gap between us slowly but surely.

I retreated, too.

"No! I said you couldn't call me that! And don't–don't come near me, dammit! I'm _fine_!"

In a flash, the distance between us closed completely and my shoulders were held firmly by long fingers, trapped with no chance of escaping his grip.

"Rivailo. Jay. Lockhart," he all but yelled, punctuating each of my names, paralyzing me into silence as I gave him my undivided attention; Axel had never used my full name in conversation or argument before, so this must have been as serious as a heart attack. "I am your _best friend_! Do you know what that even means? It means that you are able to tell me _anything_ without worry of being judged or rejected! Rivailo, I have _always_ been here for you, whenever you needed me! Don't you see that? I care about you too damned much to stand aside and let you bottle things up anymore! You're not alone, Rivailo, and you never will be! I'll _always_ be there, and I don't plan on going away unless you tell me to leave! Is that what you want? Do you _want_ me to leave you?"

I really was paralyzed; I had no idea how to respond, but if I didn't say something soon I would risk losing the one person who knew how to make me smile with 10,000 watts, whose hugs electrifies my being, and whose voice soothes my soul with just one word. However, he wanted to know that he was my shoulder to cry on an ear to listen…so I think I'll let him be just that, he and his little Roxas.

They don't know everything about me, after all.

"Do you wanna know just _why_ I keep to myself, Sinclair?" I asked in a quiet drawl, my voice climbing with each word until it rose to a shout. "Do you wanna know _why_ I confided to _SunShine_ instead of you? Up until now, SunShine was just a blank face. MSN was our only connection, and I could tell him anything without worrying about his reaction! No matter what I told him, I couldn't see his _true_ feelings and opinions to my words, and therefore avoided rejection."

I chuckled darkly, scaring Axel enough to release my shoulders.

"But I'm getting off track, here. The _real_ reason why I preferred to rant and whine to the enigma of SunShine over anyone else is because one of our very _friends_ is to blame, Sinclair! And just_ knowing _our circle of queens, anything I confided to just one person would've been spread to the entire fucking town!"

To that statement, Axel gave the expected confused responses: raised eyebrow, tilted head, and shifty eyes.

"Remember my birthday last year? When you found me bleeding and bruised in that back alley behind the Crescendo?" Crescendo was a karaoke bar downtown, and was frequently visited by Axel, Demyx, and their "bar legal" friends to make idiots of themselves publicly, primarily Demyx, seeing as he's the one who loves to sing, sober or not. "Didn't you think that it was weird that a newly seventeen-year-old boy would be found nearly unconscious behind a _bar_?"

Again, the facial expressions of my friend showed further confusion, but I didn't let him speak.

"Well, while you, Demyx, and everyone else with a fake ID were having the times of your lives drinking, I was waiting a block away _at midnight_ with a few kids from school at the Lucid Gem because I wanted to spend the entire day with _you_, Sinclair! But what happens instead? I run into a fucking sloshed Saïx leaving Crescendo _just_ as I walked over to the bar because I knew the bouncer would send someone to let you know I was waiting for you! And do you know what happened next? The blue-haired bastard literally _dragged _me to that back alley and–"

Right until that moment, I was giving everything I had to keep my emotions at bay. But the memory of that night was beating down the doors of my mind and the most common, sympathetic gesture of Axel reaching a hand out to gently lay on my shoulder was what blasted the door off its hinges.

I roared at him, flinching away from his touch as if I laid a hand to a stove burner that was still cooling down. "And that fucking bastard RAPED ME! I was screaming and crying and kicking the ENTIRE TIME and NOBODY heard me! He ripped my shirt off, gagged me and tied my hands together with the shreds, cut my body with a FUCKING RAZOR, and dug his nails into my throat as he CHOKED me, RELENTLESSLY pounding into me like I was a…a…"

Even I could hear the incoherency of next few words, so I thought it best to stop trying to speak, took a deep hitching breath, and let it out accompanied by a hushed sob. To prevent myself from leaking any more of that damned night to them, I quickly covered my mouth with both hands, one overlapping the other, with eyes held shut and head hung, hiding my face from view, remaining that way.

A few tense heartbeats and bitten back sobs later, I heard soft footsteps pass by, a door opening then quietly close again. Careful hands took hold of my shoulders and guided me a ways, gently lifted my by the waist, and set me atop a bed. Ghosting across my cheeks for a moment, the hands lightly secured themselves around my wrists.

"Rivy."

Against my wavering will, my eyes flew open and sought out the green that sought my lost and hurt violet.

I shouldn't have opened them.

The instant our eyes met, I saw the glimmer of jade of the Axel I knew and saw the glimmer of poison of the Axel I knew could break someone. Only, in this moment, his poisonous stare wasn't meant for me; it worried me as to who it _was_ intended for, however…

"Rivy," Axel said again, jaw clenched as he tried to keep his head calm from the maelstrom. "Why didn't you tell me…? Why didn't you tell _Xigbar_?"

Answering his question was something that had to be done – that was fact, and I knew it. Planning and execution, though, were two things on completely different planes of difficulty. Axel was sitting there in restrained silence, which meant that he was allowing me to recuperate mentally.

I took to counting each slow and ragged breath, and approximately four hundred and twenty something breaths later, found my nerve.

"Axel…I wanted to…I was dying to, really," I murmured, unable to look away from him. A frown took hold of my lips then, and tears began to blur my vision; he wiped at them with his thumbs, keeping quiet, urging me on. "But I couldn't do that to Demyx…not the loveable, naïve idiot…

"He-He would hate me! An-And every time he saw me, he'd smile that smile that was fake as fuck, and his eyes would be full of hate and I'd be the one who broke his heart! Demyx has done a lot for me since they took me in…taught me how to skateboard, showed me my way around the city, where to hang out at the high school! He even risked his ass for mine when I had gotten myself into trouble with Seifer and his gang! I can't turn do that to–"

"RIVY!"

His shout halted my rambling, grip unintentionally tightening on my wrists, bringing a grimace to my face; I keep forgetting how strong Axel is despite his being nearly Jack Skellington. He released a wrist and hesitantly brought his hand to my cheek, ghosting a thumb over its plane to wipe the tears away, doing the same to the other side. Delicately, he brought me into his lap, scooting himself so that he could rest his back against the wall. I took this as the opportunity to speak again, albeit in a low, vulnerable, and hurt murmur.

"Sorry…I'm so sorry, Axel," I began, clutching to his shirt, keeping my line of sight fixated just below his collarbone, speaking through a hyperventilating-like speech pattern. "I wanted to tell someone, anybody…really! I wanted to! Xigbar…Xemnas…you…but I didn't…couldn't… I figured you'd all be ashamed or something…that I had…l-let myself…be…be–"

"Rivy, no," he crooned softly, hugging me tightly, instantly bringing a sense of security over me. "Don't say anything icky like that, Rivy… You didn't _let_ that bastard do anything! You didn't! He just–… you tried–…" To show that I understood of what he was trying to say, I simply tugged lightly at his shirt, allowing myself a small whimper.

Inhaling deeply, Axel relaxed his hold on me, allowing me to rest my head under the curve of his jaw, his chin comfortably resting at the crown of my head.

Whispering so quietly I believed Axel to be speaking to himself, he said, "Don't think bad of me, Rivy…but I'm glad to hear you say that, first." I would've been deeply outraged to hear that, but he continued in a swift murmur to clarify. "Nearly a year after he got together with Demyx…Saïx…he got me too, Rivy. He got me, too…"

This revelation was enough to cease my crying, was enough for me nod in understanding, and that was that.

And so we sat there, him cradling me to his chest. Sat there in silence; a silence that held no judgment, a silence that said absolutely nothing, a silence that was just that – soundless, emanating around us both, that held to us as he held onto me. In that quiet moment of nothing but the soundtrack of our breathing, our hearts beating, and the distant noise of the streets down below, I felt myself crumble.

Time had eluded us both, for the next thing I knew, I was rubbing the sleep out of my eyes with a yawn, wanting to stretch out my body but couldn't, finding it to be uncomfortably warm. The hot breath at the back of my neck sent a shiver through me in spite of the warmth seeming to radiate from all sides. Looking down at the arm draped around my waist, the hand attached resting on the sensitive triangle of flesh surrounding my navel, I was unable to recall when I had fallen asleep in Axel's arms.

It was a bit too much for me at the moment.

Prying myself free of his sleeper's hold, making as little movement as physically possible while sliding off the bed, I slipped my shoes on (when did those come off?), I made my way to the door. Hand on the knob, ready to leave, I saw a notebook and pen on the kitchen table. Darting back to the table, I quickly scrawled a note on the first blank page, took it back to Axel's bed, placing it by his pillow, and finally made my leave of the apartment, closing the door behind me without a noise.

Hours later, while Xigbar and a few other squad cars were out searching for Saïx on two separate accounts of acquaintance rape as well as two separate accounts of statutory rape, I was witnessing the glorious descent of the setting sun, casting Twilight Town in a glow of gold, kissing the horizon as the ball of fire began to be veiled completely by the green landscape in the far distance, giving way to the songs of the night and for the moon to shine its crescent smile down below, perched near the edge of the ledge above the face of the clock tower.

I was done crying at this point.

Having to go through an intensive, recorded interrogation from Xigbar in his office at the precinct was too much for my psyche, having to explain exactly what Saïx had done, when and where this happened. I think that tidbit, raped at the beginning of my 17th birthday, set my uncle in a homicidal state…I've never once seen those golden eyes with a hint of malice in his uniform, his sight one for upholding the law. But the moment I lifted my shirt to show Saïx's calling card – his name cut and scarred into the small of my back – I saw the shark inside, the feeding frenzy seizing control of his mind, throwing reason out the ocean as the scent of blood filled its nose.

Minutes after my teary tale was told, Axel entered the office and contributed his story, too. A difference in his was the location of his scar of that night. His was etched into the skin just below his navel, barely visible in the wheel of fire permanently inked there. He explained that after the scarring healed, he got the tattoo to hide it, for he was one to showcase his body without a shirt and he didn't want to bring authoritative attention to himself or his household at the time (that much was true. Took me a while to remember that his slight exhibitionism stopped when he met me).

And so after a few more hours of being retained in his office under the watchful eye of a deputy, Axel continued to hold me as we both endured a maelstrom of emotions of what was going down out in Twilight Town. Looking back, I'm glad we were being watch by a female officer; I can't stand crying in front of men outside of my family. I don't want to give any man reason to pity me, to look down on me, to feel sorry for me no matter the circumstance. After all, guys are _supposed_ to be strong and unbreakable.

Oh, please…

It was only after Saix was brought in were Axel and I allowed to leave. Supposedly, when Xigbar was seen pounding on Saïx's door, Saïx claimed that he was walking home from a poker game with Luxord and a few others. Of course, Xigbar found him to be drunk and had sent two officers to the homes of the men Saïx listed he played with. Turns out, he was telling the truth, but the fact that he was drunk had the officers on high alert.

Prior to Saïx's arrest, I told myself I wouldn't look at him when he was brought to the precinct's jail cells, but one glance into those eyes filled with pure malice had me shuddering and reliving everything he put me through. Xigbar escorted me home after that incident, placing me in the care of Demyx for Xemnas was at Organization tending to some urgent matter. I wasn't supposed to leave the house, but with enough convincing and minor resistance due to my shaken state, Demyx drove me to the Station and went back home as I had asked him to despite his reluctance to leave me alone even though I knew he was hurting inside….

Which brings me back to sitting atop the clock tower, the sun now gone and letting the moon take its shine on the stage of night. I used to the love the moon, dance under its reflected light with my iPod nearly on full volume. Or I would just lie on the street and stare up at it, binoculars at my eyes, allowing me to gouge its craters, determine whether there really is a man in the moon or a rabbit pounding a paste with its mallet. I saw neither of Western or Eastern depictions; I always saw my mom, her eyes closed shyly and her lips smiling coyly.

Not tonight.

The crescent moon was but a sneering mouth of the man who had once wronged me and his once closest friend. Ironically, Saix had a deep interest in the moon, honoring it as a goddess. Perhaps there was some lunar religion out there that he took to practicing – he was obsessed with it, disturbingly so, becoming angrily animated when it fully exposed itself. Perhaps he attempted to embody the culture of werewolves; ff there was a taboo world of people believing themselves vampires, one so rarely seen, perhaps there was a circle of werewolves stalking the night, as well.

Knees brought to my chest, arms wrapped around them, the lights of the city served as a substitute for the once friendly moon. I didn't know what would become of me or of my friends, at this moment in my career as a student. All I know is that come Monday afternoon I'll return to school, my measly part-time job at the Mirage bookstore managed by Zexion's family, and the looming date of graduation just around the corner. Even then, I'm not sure what would befall me.

"Heya."

I didn't react, didn't need to. There was only one other person who knew of where I could possibly be excluding Demyx, so of course he would find me. Made sense enough to me, I suppose.

"…You always bring the boys here, Axel?" I asked monotonously. "Maybe a few girls, too? Show 'em the city in full at sunset…tell 'em about colors and how _red is the one that travels the farthest_? Hmmm?"

This time I looked back over my shoulder to find him leaning against the wall of the tower ever so casually, true to his nature no matter the situation. I wonder if anything does get under his skin, if being put on spot or put into an awkward position with friends and acquaintances.

"No? Not all of 'em," I spat out, standing on the ledge and facing him, the light breeze swaying my body enough to possibly toss me off the tower if I didn't shift my weight accordingly. "Is that what those pretty lil' eyes are trying to tell me? Or are they tryin' ta apologize or somethin'? Hmph. Well gooood luck getting' one from me, buddy boy!" It was at this moment that I discovered that, when alone and inebriated, my thoughts and words are in perfect articulation…but when the words are spoken to someone…not so much. Ironic, isn't it? Or maybe it's just because it was Axel I was talking to – he tongue-ties me while sober, anyways.

"Rivy…are you…_drunk_?" Axel had asked incredulously, his mouth set in a perfect "O" of surprise.

"I believe…the accurate term…is cross-faded," I giggled through a sloppy smirk, staggering a step forward, hopping off the ledge and onto the safety of the floor, I guess. When did he hold onto my shoulders? Don't really recall his grip being so tight…is it his nails? Dunno! But those spidery fingers kinda hurt.

"You. Are. _Cross-faded_?" Axel barked, shaking me slightly, making each word clear and different…what's the word…punctuated? Yeah, that. "When the _hell_ did you start drinking and smoking?"

"Heehee! Looks like you aren't the only one with a few Skellingtons in his closet!" I sang in singsong voice, waving my finger in a figure eight at Axel's face.

"Skellingtons?" Axel sighed, letting my shoulders go and pinching the bridge of his nose. I couldn't tell if he was annoyed or not, but it still made me giggle a lot. "You still haven't answered my question, Rivy…"

Giggling still, I said, "Juuuust after my birthday! Weren't you there…? Haha! I thought you were… No, but yeah. Malibu Rum and weed is gooood…"

"Why? Why the hell are you getting into this shit?"

"Why are you yelling at me?" I spoke through a frown. "I just need to have fun…I just need to forget…"

"Pot and booze is _not_ the way, Rivy," he yelled, grabbing my face this time, so I would have to look him in the eye to speak.

"Hmph! Ooookay, Mr. Lea Sinclair! Whose studio was covered in booze bottles…? I asked…um…what's his name…the hottie with the white hair…?"

"…Riku…?"

"Yeah! That hottie!"

"Rivy, he's your brother!"

"Pft! So? He's still hot. Don't mean I wanna sleep with him." I mean, duh. Who does that? "I'm not into incest, fool! Besides…he's like, uber crazy in love with lil' Sora. Aww…they're so cute together, don't you agree?"

"Stop changing the subject! _Why_ are you getting cross-faded?"

"I _told_ you, Lea! I want to forget in a fun way! God…don't you listen?"

And then, just like that, my right cheek started to hurt a lot…and I don't know why. I just know that, one minute Axel was holding my face, and the next I was suddenly looking sideways. When I looked back over at Axel, I saw that there was a tear in his eye and that he had backed away a little bit. I felt my cheek, the one that was stinging, and it was wet with a tear, too. Then it hit me…no pun intended.

"OW! Why'd you hit me, Axel?"

He didn't answer me. Just stayed quiet, a few more tears rolling down his cheeks. That's when, for some reason I couldn't think of at the moment, I thought it would be the best choice to hug Axel tightly in what I hoped would be seen as empathy. I stumbled over to him, throwing my arms tightly around his waist, hiding my face in his chest.

"I'm sorry, Axel…" He didn't hug me back, which I took as a bad sign, but it still felt right.

"I hit you and you're saying _sorry_, Rivy?" He kinda laughed when he said that, but it sounded sad. I didn't want that. Still didn't hug me back.

"I am, though," I whined, looking up at him, my neck stretching across his chest, the tip of my nose just touching his Adam's apple. Man, I'm short. "I just…don't want to disappoint you or anything…but I think I already did and that made you sad enough to cry. I don't want you to be sad or disappointed at me, Axel… I'd rather die than have that happen." He gave me a funny look before talking.

"Why would you rather die, Rivy?" That's when he had me blushing. He always knew how to use his eyes in a way I couldn't resist, and it always had me wrapped around his finger, letting him read me like a book. Then again, I pretty much always was. Sad, I know. But I am under the influences of booze and pot, and those two on their own can mess with your emotions completely…

"Be…because, Axel. You mean so much to me!" I had to admit; even I knew my words were slurred. "Like, really! Y-You _should_ to know how much I ad-admire you, Axel. And I'm not gonna lie, I was really mad when I found out that that stupid SunShine kid was really your Roxas friend. I felt really hurt that you kept him a secret from me…and I was even more hurt when Marluxia told me that you and Roxas were together and had just broke up 'bout two years before you met me."

He cringed at that statement, and it only confirmed the ugly truth I didn't want to hear. "What was I, Axel…? Just a…a replacement for Roxas?" I couldn't meet his eyes; my head was heavy with inebriation, so I let it bow itself, pressing my ear to his heart. "Rivailo…Roxas…Rivy, Roxy…we're both the same age…kinda similar… Did you just…use me…?"

"Rivy, no…not, you weren't," Axel pleaded, but I pulled away from him, glaring.

"You put me through hell, ya know that?" At this point, I think my intoxication was hamming up the dramatic tears that stung my cheeks, but I really couldn't help that. "I practically love you, and you did all that crap you did! And another thing–"

"Wait, Rivy."

Grrr. He interrupted my rant! But he looked serious, so I remained quiet, muttering to myself.

"You just said you practically love me…do you mean that?"

I was…shocked, to say the least. I racked my brain, searched for those words that somehow flew out of my mouth without me noticing. Did I just say that? Really?

"Yeah, Rivy. You did." Was he reading my mind or something? Using telekinesis to lift the answer directly from my mind? Wait. Wasn't that telepathy? Oh. I heard my voice. Haha! I guess talking to myself wasn't turning out so well. I heard Axel sigh, and when I looked at him, he was scratching the back of his head, looking away from me.

"…I do, Axel." That got his attention. "I don't know what love is…never been in it before…but being your friend means so much to me." Here is when I could hear myself speak in a slurred rush. "I get all giggly and blush-y and air headed-y when I'm around you. You make me smile and laugh and even when we're just sitting in my room, listening to music or me doing homework or reading or you drawing and me writing or us just lying there on the floor for no reason and looking at the ceiling, it feels so…right! And even though we've only known each other for a few years and it's not that long a time for a kid my age that doesn't know what love is outside of family, I really think I love you, Axel. And it might not be what you had with Roxas or anyone before him, but–"

"Rivy."

I continued ranting uninterrupted, now quickly sobering up. "–It's what I feel and it's really hard to change how you feel about a person, believe me I've tried to not like you anymore, but since we've spent so much time together and know all the same people it was really hard to avoid you. Not that I wanted to avoid you, but you know what I mean, right?"

"Rivy…"

Obviously, my ears weren't cooperating, eyes focused down at my fidgeting hands. "And yeah, I know I'm not as thin as Roxas or as fair-skinned as Roxas or as nice-haired as Roxas or as cute as Roxas or as–"

"Rivy," Axel hummed softly. And that time, I heard him, looked up into those sparkly green eyes and was instantly silenced. He must've thought my face was funny, because he chuckled, shaking his head.

I frowned, feeling my cheeks heat up significantly. "What? Why are you laughing at me? After I practically–"

"I should get you drunk more often," he said, bringing two fingers to my lips, quieting me once more. "You're amusingly cute like this, silly and red. More stubborn than usual, though. Feisty, too." His smirk held more to it than simple amusement, making me unsure as to how to properly interpret it. It made me shudder. "But there's something you should never do, Rivy."

To keep a tremor from rising in my voice, I whispered. "What shouldn't I do…?"

Axel frowned, a sadness touching his eyes. "Don't ever compare yourself to someone else…ever, Rivy. Yeah, you can never compare to Roxas–" I winced, feeling insulted. "–But he can't compare to you, either. Got it memorized?"

Now I was confused. "I don't get what you…"

Wordlessly, I found myself being herded with my back being pressed against the wall, two hands placed on either side of my head, a smiling Axel with narrowed eyes caging me to the bricks behind me. The clock tower's bells rang below, just then, reverberating through our bodies and across the city, echoing off the green hills in the distance, beyond where the train tracks disappear. Each toll of the bells lingered in the air, the final peal ending with a melancholy resonance that raised the hairs on my arms and the back of my neck.

It was then that I experienced my first kiss.


	7. Tradition of the Stars

_**Last time in What Matters Most…**_

"_I should get you drunk more often," he said, bringing two fingers to my lips, quieting me once more. "You're amusingly cute like this, silly and red. More stubborn than usual, though. Feisty, too." His smirk held more to it than simple amusement, making me unsure as to how to properly interpret it. It made me shudder. "But there's something you should never do, Rivy."_

_To keep a tremor from rising in my voice, I whispered. "What shouldn't I do…?"_

_Axel frowned, a sadness touching his eyes. "Don't ever compare yourself to someone else…ever, Rivy. Yeah, you can never compare to Roxas–" I winced, feeling insulted. "–But he can't compare to you, either. Got it memorized?"_

_Now I was confused. "I don't get what you…"_

_Wordlessly, I found myself being herded with my back being pressed against the wall, two hands placed on either side of my head, a smiling Axel with narrowed eyes caging me to the bricks behind me. The clock tower's bells rang below, just then, reverberating through our bodies and across the city, echoing off the green hills in the distance, beyond where the train tracks disappear. Each toll of the bells lingered in the air, the final peal ending with a melancholy resonance that raised the hairs on my arms and the back of my neck._

_It was then that I experienced my first kiss._

**X ~ X ~ X ~ X ~ X ~ X ~ X ~ X**

The next morning was rather brutal for me. First hangover in my life and everything was amplified tenfold. To start the day off was my phone's alarm clock, a shrill sound that rivaled the scream of a banshee to my sensitive ears. I forgot to turn it off last night, seeing as I never plan my Sundays. Silencing my phone was a chore, for it was lost somewhere amongst the sheets as opposed to under my pillow.

Alarm still sounding, I groaned and blindly groped behind me, planning to remove the battery and hurl the technological torture device across the room. What I found instead wasn't my phone, and what can only be described as a sultry murmur at my ear.

"Hey, now. If you reached a little lower then you would've been obligated to finish what you started."

Initially I jumped the gun on the assumption that we did the deed, but rational thought was governing my mind, surprisingly enough. Even so, the journey home was a complete blank, as if the memory was seized directly from my mind and eradicated; oddly, that thought brought on a sense of déjà vu. Nevertheless, in dim lighting of what can be presumed an overemotional night, I was absolutely positive of the absurd statement was nothing more than a joke.

I hope.

"…What happened last night?" came my disoriented question.

"Well, we recorded it, if you refuse to believe me. Wanna see?"

"Axel!"

His laughter went straight to my pulsing brain, and the only remedy that came to mind was lying on my stomach and holding my pillow tightly over my ears. Didn't do anything for me except add to my extreme headache.

Wait a second…

"For the love of Bob, please tell me that Xigbar or Xemnas doesn't know about what I did," I pleaded through the pillow. I almost heard the grimace that knowingly framed my friend's features.

"Bob?" A sigh on my part was the indicator that I wasn't in the best of moods for fun and games at my expense. "Well, I kinda had to explain why I carried you home like a blushing bride."

Gasping, I quickly removed my head from the pillow alcove to gape at him, instantly regretting the movement. My curiosity for taking a kick to the head by a horse's hooves (that possibly couldn't compare to a hangover) evaporated with a groan, had me curl up in a ball facing away from him, fingertips massaging my temples. I heard somewhere that doing so supposedly chases headaches away. Surely the same principle applied to hangovers? Thankfully, Axel had passed me my phone so I could dismiss the annoying alarm. The light from the phone alone was enough to blind me, and I didn't like that; wearing my glasses was going to be an excruciating pain later on.

That minor massage dulled my headache for a whopping five seconds.

"Well, what'd you say to them?" I whined.

"Nothing too bad. Just that you banged your head on the headboard while we were…ahem, wrestling in my bed."

Funny. He's funny. Ha. Ha. "Shut up, Axel. What'd you say, seriously?"

"Did you hit your head that hard, Rivy? I said that, while we were _wrestling_ in my bed…"

"You're dead to me, just so you know," I barked through gritted teeth; that helped my head. "When Xigbar lays a restraining order down on your ass, you'll know who's to blame. You."

"Nah. It'd be inappropriate if Xigbar laid one of those on my ass. But if you did…now that's a different story, entirely."

His painful roar of laughter was my answer, and it made me want to beat the shit out of him.

For the next few weeks, everything passed in a blur. School became less of a pain in the ass seeing as graduation was on the mind of every senior. You could actually feel the biding enthusiasm as last day of high school was just within reach. The week of testing, which we openly mocked the underclassmen for, seniors had the choice of leaving school after roll was taken in first period; it was a stampede for the main office as soon as the last bell for first class rang. Where I spent my mornings after leaving the campus went without saying. What _was_ worth saying, however, was the…speculation about my…relationship with Axel.

Where else would this forest fire start? None other than Sora and Riku.

It was a Wednesday morning, and Riku was driving us to the Lucid Gem for breakfast with Axel, the brunette taking shotgun as usual when he randomly turned to glance over his seat and asked, "You've been together for almost a year now, right? When's the anniversary?"

I literally had to do a double take at those shimmering sapphire eyes, innocent curiosity in their gleam. "H-Huh…? Anniversary? What are you–"

"Vai, really. Quit playing dumb. You aren't onstage, so enough with the act," Riku interrupted with a chuckle, sending a knowing glance my way in the rearview. "It's been a year since you've been going out. Stop making a big deal and answer the question."

"What question?" I was all too confused. "I don't even know what the hell you guys are talking about!"

Sora leaned over to the side, staring at me full on, eyebrow raised and head cocked. "You and Axel. What else would we be talking about?"

"Huh? What about me and Axel?"

"Your one-year anniversary, maybe?" Riku prompted.

Two streetlights later, it registered. "How am I supposed to remember the day I met Axel?"

With a quick glance to one another, the rearview and me, then back to each other once more, they said, "Is he really playing dumb?"

"Ya know, I _can_ hear you…in the backseat…"

This blush-inducing jabber continued all the way until we got to the Gem, and when I had confronted Axel about it, he claimed to not know what they were talking about, stabbing some of his waffle into his mouth, not meeting my eyes. I would've mentioned that Axel had taken my first kiss to the two fighting over the last piece of quickly devoured bacon, but I figured I would be the topic of teasing for months if that morsel of info found its way to one of Marluxia's many grapevines. Why kindle the flames?

Hours later after that awkward breakfast, I decided to spend the rest of the day with Riku and Sora seeing as Axel had plans with his parents – whom I never met, by the way; in fact, I can't recall a single moment where Axel even so much as mentioned his mom and dad – and, well, I didn't want to consider going home. Who's to say I won't be interrogated at home for my relationship with Axel? Which at that point, I wasn't completely certain of, myself.

At their adamant request, we all pitched enough munny to buy three roundtrip tickets to ferry out to the Destiny Islands; Sora and Riku were all but elated at the prospect of returning to their home for a day, previously unable to do so due to a general lack of funds and schoolwork piling up. A preventing factor on Sora's part was that he wasn't exactly allowed to come and go as he pleases, which can be a major hindrance with any plans he might have with Riku. Sora, too, lives with an uncle; Squall – I mean, Leon – is a pretty cool guy, and I would've never known he was thirty-five hadn't Sora pointed it out. Now the true question is just what _is_ the secret for full-grown men who retain the façade of looking ten or twenty years younger than they really are? Xigbar and Xemnas would never 'fess up, and neither did Leon when I asked him.

Thirty long, peaceful minutes later, the ferry was docked at the main island (and I hadn't succumb to motion sickness, nor had Sora; Riku has an iron stomach). Walking down the simple wooden dock, slowly following the other ferry goers and my friends, I was in awe.

Pristinely white sand and crystal-clear waters were the first to meet my eye, dazzling me into stupor. I soaked in everything before me – the brief colors darting through the waters, the indescribable scents assailing my nose, the caressing spray the winds brought from the waves, the caws of unseen birds somewhere in the trees, the monumental mountains far in the distance that is the beginning of this island…

It was a painful reminder of the beaches of my infancy.

I wasn't allowed to linger in that thought for too long for Sora and Riku had to physically tow me along, arm in arm with myself in the middle.

"C'mon, Vai!" Sora chirped.

"Can't get you lost here," Riku teased.

I would've argued, but without their guidance, I would be lost.

So without a word from me, they led me down the dirt roads of their quaint home, explaining what it was like growing up in this quite gem on the sea, pointing out various locales of the village to which they frequented often with Kairi, Tidus, Selphie, and Wakka, the three others they grew up with; pointed out the houses to where each prominent friend lived, as well as their own. I wondered if they would take me on a brief tour into their homes, but some inner voice suggested I not dwell on that possibility.

Wasting no further time of their history on the island, the dirt roads of the hilly village eventually gave way to the mesmerizing white sand.

"Wait here," Riku commanded before they both disappeared down the beach and entered a large, shabby shack made up of sections of wooden fence. What they went in there for I really didn't want to speculate…

Falling to my knees and laying on my stomach, elbows digging into the grainy warmth, chin perched on my hands, I stared out into the radiance of the shimmering water. Focused on how the sunlight reflected off it's uneven surface and gave the impression that diamonds coated the ocean's surface.

Simply breathtaking.

Minutes passed when noise to my right caught my attention. "Vai, have you ever rowed a boat before?"

Turning to Sora's voice, I saw they had three small boats waiting behind them, then said, "Do paddle boats count…?" Their blank faces answered my question. I stood, dusting off the sand that coated my front side. "Actually, yeah, I have. When I was thirteen, in a pitiful attempt to get me involved in the outdoors, Xigbar took drove me out on a camping trip by a lake. His dad brought him there when he was little so Xigbar decided to continue on a fatherly tradition with me." The smile on my face must've been something to look at, otherwise the duo in front of me wouldn't be gawking in an endearing way.

Of course, this made me flush and look elsewhere. "So are we gonna get rowing or stare at me all day like two people waiting for a third to complete the ménage a trois, huh?"

"Are you inviting me for a three way with you and Axel, Vai?" Sora asked, far too enthused than allowed, smiling ear to ear.

"Sora!" Riku and I yelled in unison, both of us now facing him with equal looks of panic holding our expressions.

Batting those deceptively long and naturally curled lashes of his, Sora unleashed that infamous, irresistibly adorable puppy-dog pout, utilizing the amazing persuasion of his azure eyes in attempt to give him an air of pure innocence, as if it was we who had suggested…_that._

"What…? What did I say, guys?" Sora asked; his tone thickly layered with cute seduction aimed at the now pink-faced Riku. _Damn_ that power Sora has over Riku; it can be an asset to when the brunette and I both desire something Riku can assist in acquiring, but when Sora is using it both against Riku and a third party…

Might as well open the bank vault for a robber to waltz in and out with no trouble at all.

Sora and Riku had a stare down, Sora's eyes narrowing, pout becoming significantly more prominent with each lingering bat of his lashes. Riku, on the other hand, just stared and stared. Stared until, finally, he leaned back into his whatever-I-don't-give-a-fuck stance, hands shoved into his pockets and staring off somewhere else.

Victory in his smug smile, Sora faced me once more. "So are you up for it, Vai?"

"Up for what?" I would not allow myself to speak out loud what he was asking of me. Not happening. "Oh, hell no. You're kidding, right?" The seriousness that stilled Sora's expression clearly stated that his query was indeed not a joke.

Awkward.

"Well, if I can't join you, can I watch you and Axel–"

I didn't even bother with an answer; my face was too red to allow my vocal chords to do their duty, as was Riku's. Instead, Riku and I wordlessly went to tow a boat to the shore, hopped in and I followed Riku on the gentle waves, Sora ranting up a storm as he caught up with us in his. Seeing Sora slightly upset always made me smile.

No less than twenty minutes of rowing later had we tied the boats to the handmade wooden dock and there I was, stepping foot on the playground to Sora, Riku, and Kairi nearly five years ago. But speaking of which…

"Hey, guys? Why isn't Kairi with us?" This was a surprise, not seeing her here. She ought to be, right?

"She went to Radiant Garden to visit her grandmother," Riku said. "Kairi used to live with her when she was little and she goes to visit whenever she has a few days to herself."

Understanding my expression, Sora spoke. "When her dad left the family, Kairi's mom went into a major depression."

"So Kairi lived with her grandmother until her mom was able to figure everything out and whatnot."

"Now Kairi lives with her mom again," Sora concluded with a pleasant smile. "Even without her mom asking her to, Kairi drops by her Maw Maw's whenever she can."

"Aw," I said, smiling too. "That's sweet of her." I looked around, once again absorbing the new scenery. To my immediate left was what appeared to be large rock formations covered in planks of wood, forming what appeared to be a patio or stage. Leading to this stage was a simple bridge my made of the same kind of wood as the dock we stood on. Following the bridge with my eyes to the right stood an enormously wide tree! Another bridge surround it's circumference and led to what looked like a doorway; perhaps a room? Or shelter from the rain? Continuing my gaze, I saw a plank set of stairs (whoever built this place must have been an aspiring architect, in my personal opinion; which had me ponder of how many people it took to construct this playground paradise) set just above a platform of shrubbery. But what caught my attention more so than this large tree house was the water pouring from two orifices of the visible part of the gray mountain not covered in green. My eyes continued to roam until I saw a small, elevated islet of rock with seven or so trees on it. One of them was…odd.

"Hey…what's that tree? Over there?" I pointed, just to be sure they knew which one; Sora can be a bit ditzy at times…

Suspicious chuckles as a response made me regret my question.

"Funny you ask about that particular tree, Vai," Sora murmured, eyeing me from under that fringe of brown eyelash with a secretive smirk.

Uh-oh.

"Walk with us," Riku piped up eagerly, each of them again towing me by both arms off the dock, through a little shack down the beach (to the right of the miniature waterfalls), up the winding stairs inside, and out onto the little cliff that led to the bridge, across the wooden way, and literally perched me up on the natural bench, Sora sitting to my right, swaying his legs, and Riku leaning back against the tree to my left, arms folded across his chest. They both stared at the low leaves to our right, at the few star-shaped fruits hanging there. Even from where I sat, the unripe stars (I assumed) made my mouth water. The six other trees were all but invisible to me, including the three with purple leaves; it's a big deal when I ignore something purple.

"Are we going to stare at them all day or is someone telling me why they're shaped like stars?" I asked with a bit of irritation coating my tone.

Riku chuckled. "Well, we don't know why the Paopu looked like stars. Sorry."

I repeated the name mentally, staring at the way the fruit swayed with the wind, the leaves of the tree ruffling.

"What we do know," Sora continued, "Is the legend of the Paopu stars."

"Legend of the Paopu stars?" I echoed with wonder in my voice.

"Long ago, when these islands were first discovered by white man," Riku began in a low timbre. "There was an indigenous tribe of people known as the Paopu. How they discovered that island is a mystery to the archeologists who study the islands' history, but nevertheless, they did. With time, the Paopu expanded their tribe and scattered across the islands, separating into smaller villages. This led the new sects to develop their own customs and beliefs, creating new tribes.

"You see, even though the Paopu split into different tribes, their supposedly new traditions were all based on those of the original tribe." Here, Riku paused, his smirk raising an enigmatic mood, raising the hairs on my arms. I let out a breath I hadn't realized I'd been keeping. "Especially the courting tradition…of the Paopu Star."

This was the part of his story where, somehow, I knew what the paopu stars were used for. And if my hunch was right, I will run to the water and drown myself. It's amazing that I wasn't turning red, keeping up my poker face. Still, I'll play stupid, for Riku and Sora's sakes.

"Courting tradition?" I said this with a little quiver of my lip, purposely cracked my voice to give the impression that I was nervous. Didn't really need to act that out _too_ much.

Sora chortled, scooting closer to me on the tree, casually draping an arm around my shoulders, pulling me into his side; this was weird, seeing as I was taller. "Yep. The courting tradition, the tradition for courting a husband or wife."

Okay, so now my theory was eradicated and the ease on my tense body was visible. Though, I was confused as to why the voice in the back of my head was telling me to avoid either of their eyes…

I focused on the fruit while Sora spoke. "Of course, the tribesmen were expected to seek out women who could bear them sons to shape into strong soldiers and daughters whom the wives would pass on the ways of women. This was done by the simple act of giving a woman a paopu fruit."

"Giving a woman…a fruit," I said dully. "So that was the ancestor to giving a girl flowers and a box of chocolate, right?"

"Not exactly," Riku said, rubbing his chin for no reason I could think of, peering up at me from behind his bangs; it was so odd being above Riku, seeing over his head. It's still an awesome feeling though.

"Wait, what do you mean, not exactly?"

"Giving a woman a paopu," Sora said through giggles, eyeing Riku once and wriggling his eyebrows mischievously at me, giving a quick wink. "Was proposing to her."

Didn't expect that.

"So we have a gentile civilization who unconsciously raised gentlemen?" That's about how I summed up the information given to me.

Riku chuckled. "It's a bit more than that, Vai."

"Oh, do enlighten me, Professors Wheeler and Healey."

"Very well, Master Lockhart," they said at once in British accents. In this brief moment, I looked out at the sea, marveling at how the silvery blue water reflected the sun, a natural spotlight for any sea life swimming below.

"According to the tribe," Riku whispered, bringing me back, his voice gaining a dreamlike wonder and his smile slowly growing with each word. "If two people should share one, their destines will become intertwined. They'll be apart of each other's lives no matter what…" His voice trailed off, as did he eyes, taking aim on Sora's smiling form. It didn't take too long for me to realize that they took part in the Paopu's courting tradition.

Also didn't take too long for me to feel uncomfortable sitting in between them. In the moment of silence that ensued on this peaceful islet, I slipped down off the tree, sat down on the ground and brought my knees to my chest.

"Vai? What's wrong?" Riku asked, placing a hand on my head in concern.

Speaking my mind was never my forte…but still, this was something that had to be discussed with someone.

"Well…you know how you guys thought I was with Axel for a year?" I glanced at each of them and continued when they nodded, feeling feeble. "I…I wish that was the case."

"But isn't it, Vai?" Sora asked, confused. "Just ask anyone – they'd all tell you that they thought you guys were together. Even Seifer thought so, at some point!"

"Why not go along with the ruse," Riku suggested a bit too loudly for the close proximity we were in. "That way you could nonchalantly make an official claim on Axel." Really, there was no need for Riku to shout about, yet he did.

I knew they wouldn't understand.

With a sigh, I explained. "But I mean…yeah, we're extremely close as friends…but what else would I have to offer?" Emotion cracked my voice, quieted it. "I'm not mentally capable of having a physical relationship with anyone, and that's pretty much what seals the deal, nowadays… And if you look at both of us physically, I'm not even on the same level with someone like Axel. Look at him and Roxas! They were a beautiful looking couple. Even you two are!"

"Rivailo!" Riku exclaimed, sounding hurt. I looked at him, brows arched in gloomy frustration. "You know for a fact that Axel's not that shallow."

"He isn't shallow at all, Vai," Sora corrected.

Riku kneeled down and took my hands in his. Softly, he said, "Last night, after you called me, you know what happened?" I thought for a moment before shaking my head.

"Axel came over and talked to me, ironically," Sora piped in with a shy smile, earning a glance up at him from me. "About _you_, kid. Wanna know what he said?"

"Can we stop with making me guess, please?" Assuming was my downfall, and right now I was too emotionally overridden to play 20 Questions.

I shut my eyes for a moment, biting my lips when Riku whispered at my ear, "Why don't you ask him yourself?"

What?

Silence followed, the whisper of the wind becoming too loud for me. Even the splashing of the fish above the surface down below was too audible. Taking a second opinion, I determined that the splashing didn't belong to fish. Perhaps it was a dolphin down there, given how loud the splashes were. I've never seen a dolphin in person, before…

Opening my eyes and withdrawing my hands from Riku's, I crawled over to the edge of the islet, peering over the edge, expecting a dolphin or two, only for my eyes to be drawn to the sinuously familiar form clinging to a ladder to the left, clad in nothing but these short little red swim trunks that looked like a pair of boxers than trunks - unless they _were _his boxers? He paused his ascent for a moment, saw my mouth set itself in an O of bewilderment and grinned that wolfish grin of his.

"Didn't I tell you to never ever compare yourself to others, Rivy?"

"Axel?" I gasped, incoherent at the moment, crawling closer to him in excitement and embarrassment by the possibility that he had heard everything spoken just moments ago.

Spidering up the last few rungs, bringing a hand up to the back of my head, Axel sealed the distance between our lips, permanently rendering my mind in a state of incoherency. Not even the epic gasps behind us could distract me from kissing Axel with everything I had to give, eagerly leaning forward on all fours into the kiss, feeling layer after layer after layer of doubt slip away from me as everything Sora, Riku, Xigbar, Xemnas, and Demyx had pointed out to me – hell, that everyone I knew pointed out – about my relationship and feelings that undercoated every meaningful word held between us both.

He wanted me, by his side, my fingers twined with his. This, our second kiss, brought attention to everything about his behavior when around me, brought a new light to what I previously thought to be a friend who was deeply compassionate towards those he cares about.

_Fuck_, was I oblivious!

Pulling away when he realized that we weren't alone (had I mentioned that tongues weren't silent this time around?), Axel glanced over my shoulder with a huge grin. "No need for keeping any ruses, Riku, 'cause Rivy's mine. M-I-N-E, mine. Got it memorized?"

I probably would've regretted it, but I dared a glance back at the duo behind me; if their jaws opened any wider and it was 3:33 AM, I would've assumed that they had encountered _The Fourth Kind._

"Good, no objections," Axel said, sporting his trademark grin when I returned my attention to him, my brows knitted together in bewilderment.

"W-Wait!" I exclaimed, eyes narrowing. "Before anyone declares me as theirs–"

"Too late, Rivy." I wasn't about to let that silky voice or all too charming grin interrupt my thoughts.

"I thought you were supposed to go see your parents!" He sighed, hoisting himself onto the ledge and sat, one knee bent, resting an elbow on it. Had I also mentioned that his body glimmered with the ripples running down his body, that his hair was slicked back by the saltwater, clinging to his neck and shoulders in a way I found to be bizarrely appealing to me on many levels?

"I did see the folks," Axel exclaimed dully. "All they wanted was to give me some money and to see how I was doing." A shrug. "No big deal. Just left and came right back."

Money? Checking up on him? No big deal?

"What? 'No big deal'?" I questioned, feeling my tone about to rise an octave or two, sitting back on my ankles, leaning forward with hands on knees to fully glare at the redhead. "No big deal? Of _course_ this is a big deal! I never so much as hear one word about your mom or dad and then all of a sudden you nonchalantly let me know that you went to go see them for a quick visit?" My hands threw themselves up in the air angrily. "Why the hell haven't I met them? What kind of best friend am I for not meting your parents, of all people! All this time I thought they disowned you or something but in realty they were just a drive away? Axel, I thought–"

For the second time within five minutes, my lips were stolen into another silencing kiss – which ended all too quickly but had served its purpose.

"Rivy, Rivy, Rivy," Axel cooed, cupping a cheek of mine, his peridot eyes smoldering mine while casually draping his free hand at the nape of my neck, gently scratching there and playing with a lock of hair that had me shivering, arching my back, suitably bringing me even closer to Axel's proximity.

"We have all day for any questions you want me to answer," he chuckled. "Besides, we have this side of the island to ourselves, so simmer down. Okay?"

Hmm?

Glancing around behind me, I saw and heard the door that lead to the cove slam shut, echoing laughter fading before the lapping of the waves became the only sound for us to share.

Why did Sora and Riku have to leave?

"First things first. C'mon." He stood, effortlessly lifting me up, went to sit against the paopu tree's base, knees bent and smirked up at me, beckoning to seat myself between his legs with an index finger. When I did, he snugly brought his arms around my waist, and lightly placed a kiss at the crook of my neck, bringing out a shy and awkward giggle from me. I would definitely have to get used to this…close contact deal. Knowing Axel, I'd have to seeing as he's the kind of person who loves to hug and be physical with all of our friends.

And it's this very physicality that just might be the breaking point for me…

Surely, though, Axel would be aware of that, wouldn't he? Not that I ever held a direct conversation about anything sex-related with him, but I was pretty sure that he knew that _that_ was nowhere near my mind at all. And I also kinda made a promise to Xigbar that I would only ever sleep with someone _willingly_ when I was absolutely sure of it…and that my first willing partner wouldn't be Axel…

If - and I do mean IF - I'd come to terms with everything that has happened and would want to share a bed with a significant other…it would more than likely be Axel, anyways. Yeah, I may say that because he and I are a…_thing _now but in reality, he's the only person I could trust enough to allow myself to be in that complete state of vulnerability.

So he didn't exactly tell the truth as to who he was that night at Organization, yet it was still Axel behind that mask; just another side to Axel that I hadn't yet known; I did forgive him, in the end. If I hadn't, we wouldn't be where we are now in regards to our relationship. After all, Lea was the perfect gentleman despite his provocative choice of clothes…or lack thereof.

Not that I didn't enjoy the view. Hm. And, since I've gotten rather accustomed to seeing him shirtless, he just might go back to his partial exhibitionistic ways. And in public, where I could stake a physical claim on him in case anyone might get any ideas. This could be a good thing.

Dammit. Now I'm thinking too much about being physical with Axel.

Oh! Let's just suppose that Axel is completely aware of how physical our relationship will turn out - perhaps he would allow me to govern just how physical we can be? If that truly be the case, then that means that _I_ would have to be the one to make any possible advances, wouldn't it? Granted that I do allow him more chances to make advances seeing as he's a damn Scorpio.

Shit…he's a Scorpio. How could I forgot the _one_ trait that the scorpion is renowned for? Then again, Pisces do retain qualities of all the other signs, so I guess I'll just have to reign in the sexuality that Axel tends to slightly let loose when in my presence…

Sigh. _That's _going to be a challenge.

"…right, Rivy?"

Huh?

"…You spaced off, didn't you?"

"Maybe," I said tentatively. It sounded like a question, though. With eyes only, I slowly glanced up and over my shoulder, chuckling once I met the blank gaze of the redhead who was now narrowing those dazzling eyes of his, making me laugh a bit harder.

"And now he laughs at me!" Axel exclaimed, throwing his left hand in the air dramatically, voice feigning exasperation. "Here I am, laying down the ground rules I _know _he's been stressing over…and he laughs at me." Using the hand still wound around my waist, he oh so nonchalantly crawled his spidery fingers under the hem of my shirt, lightly trailing them across my navel, causing me to giggle and try to escape; in response, he brought both arms around my stomach, under my shirt (I knew he wasn't about to tickle me again, but still feeling his warm hands pressed against my skin made me shudder; in the good way, I guess). When he next spoke, it was at me ear in a soft whisper, his teasing smile evident even without my looking back. "Not to mention that I'm handing over my heart here…but it's cool. Just gonna laugh at it, anyways."

"I thought being dramatic was my thing, Axel," I chuckled, tilting chin down slightly, already aware of what's to come. "And I only laughed because someone doesn't know how to keep his hands to himself and away from someone else's most sensitive patches of skin." As I said that, I secured my hands around his wrists, tried to pull them out from under my shirt. "Or am I wrong, Mr. Sinclair?"

"First of all…why are you trying to hide your neck from me?" To this, he easily brought one of his secured wrists up to my chin, tilting it until I was looking straight up at the blue sky (was he not aware of my effort to prevent his hand from rising any further or am I just that weak?), eyelids narrowing as a ray of sun had crossed my vision before being obscured by a cloud. "Secondly, I have always had the right to tickle you, seeing as I'm the only one of our friends who has seen you in just your cute little boxer-briefs _and _who has shared a bed with you on a regular basis despite Xiggy's wishes that I not even be near you when you aren't wearing a shirt." To prove his point, he crawled the hand at my stomach up to my chest where it lightly darted each of my nipples, bringing out a hitchy, groan of an exhale from me, causing me to claw one hand onto his bare thigh (which I barely realizes was still wet, as was the rest of his body that he decided to hold me against), the other digging into the dirt by the tree trunk. I didn't miss Axel's breathy chuckle, either, signifying that he was enjoying himself more than he should. He will pay dearly for this, later.

"Finally - no, most importantly," Axel continued in a whisper, breathing onto my strained Adam's apple, licking around it a few times just to hear that catch in my breathing. "I claimed you as _mine_, Rivy. Trust me, I know that you aren't ready for anything past second base, but until that day…I plan to have as much fun with you in clothes as I'm allowed. And seeing as I've faced no major resistance from you, my little butterfly…I take it that you're having fun too, though you won't admit it with words. Or am I wrong, Mr. Lockhart?"

I would've been completely agitated at him for using my own words against me if hadn't actually been…enjoying the feel of his tongue on my neck, not gonna lie about that. After a time-slowed minute of wet warmth at various points on my neck, as well as a few bites here and there, I had found the correct brain signals that allowed me to speak. "Umm…Ax-el…? As f-fun as this is-"

"So you admit that you're having fun?" Axel interjected, leaving my neck (_dammit!_) to lean over my shoulder and smirk that wolf's smirk at me, kissing my cheek once with a light lick for good measure.

The sigh that left my lips was understandable even to Axel so he decided to play good and be quiet, locking his lip and throwing away the key. "As I was _about _to say before you interrupted…as fun as this, you said that there would be time for questions…right?" In an attempt to be what I thought was flirty (though it normally worked for Sora), I leaned back into his tattooed chest and rested my head on his shoulder, thanking the breeze that swept my hair over an eye, batting my long lashes up at him with what I hoped to be a shy smile framing my lips.

"Heh. You don't need to try an' seduce me into having it your way, Rivy. I'm already yours, and I'd do what_ever_ you'd like, regardless."

To this I had to brace myself once again, will the blush away (and failed to do so), fingers digging further into the dirt until I felt my knuckles brush against something. Leaning forward a bit, I did my _damn _best to overlook the subtle thrust of Axel's hips as well as the little _mmph _noise he made behind a bitten lip in order to look at what I touched.

There, standing against the trunk was a paopu a tad larger than my hand with a pink sticky note attached and it said _"Keep up the tradition_!" Sora's idea in Riku's legible hand, no doubt. The little brunette was obsessed with sticky notes. As I reached to grab it, Axel said, "Are you tryin' to cop a feel at my ass, Rivy? I gotta say, that's pretty bold of you…I like that."

I rolled my eyes, not responding at all. Bringing the fruit to my eye level as I sat back against him, I quietly asked, "Do you know what this is, Axel?"

"Isn't it called a pawpo or something? I don't really know much about it. Why?"

"Well…why don't you try it? And then…if it's good, I'll try it, too." I'm guessing the way I said that sounded suspicious because he gave me a weird look. "What? What's with the face?"

"It's poisonous, isn't it? You want me to be the sacrificial lamb? Rivy, I thought you cared-"

Yeah, and _I'm_ the dramatic one. Go figure.

Retrieving the star before he could continue his little tirade, I bit off a point, surprised at how firm the skin was. Chewing slowly, fully utilizing my taste buds, I _hmm'd _a delightful approval and had somehow managed to split the fruit in half, right down the middle, offering Axel the part I had already bitten.

Those few measly seconds until Axel had ventured to bite into the fruit, I was completely anxious. I thought he wouldn't do it, but then I saw his teeth tear into the skin and audibly sighed with relief, smiling softly at him.

"Rivy? Why are you staring like that?" Axel quirked an eyebrow, half worried, half creeped out.

My reply was nothing more than sharing a gentle kiss and this thought: _two destinies…now intertwined._


End file.
